Before long, we’re racing through the rain, the horses kicking up grass and mud. For once, I couldn’t be more grateful for the cold that drenches my clothes and shocks my body out of a spiral.
CHAPTER 65
Carys
Why didhis heart yearn for mine? Why was mine so reluctant to stretch beyond the pangs of lust? His last words haunt me, branding guilt onto my heart.I will love you even in death.
I didn’t deserve his love.
He didn’t deserve such a death.
I’ll never feel his arms around me again, nor the whisper of his breath against my skin. Yet, I can still see his blood pooling around him. There will never truly be anus.
Staring down numbly at Briony as she finishes patching my arms, I note the tremor in her hands and the pallor of her usually tan complexion. I want to ask her why she’s bothering, but I’m unable to. For days, maybe even weeks, it’s been the same thing; My power continues to flee from me no matter how hard I try to summon it.
There have been threats to whip me, put me in a torture rack to stretch my limbs apart, and even kill off my servants in front of me, one by one. Thankfully, none of those extremes occur. Instead, I’ve had bones broken, joints dislocated, splinters shoved beneath my fingernails. My body hurtsconstantly, despite the repeated healing sessions from Briony.
Still, I refuse to tell them that I know the rest of the prophecy is inThe Song of Moonlight.
This is my life now. Daily, as I’m marred and mended again and again, I pray for death more than I ever have. At least then my knowledge would die with me. Then they would be out of options, out of magical royal blood.
I keep my focus on Briony. “You’re a priestess of Lugda, right?” My voice is coarse, strained—like I’ve swallowed grit.
“Yes?”
“Then kill me.”
She peers up at me with surprising softness in her icy blue eyes, dark half-moons underneath. “Just because I’m a priestess to the god of death, that doesn’t mean I cause it,” she says.
Of course, it bloody doesn’t.
“And you’re too important to kill.” She sits back on her heels. “They’re going to tear you apart until you’re a shell of your former self and willing to give them any information they seek. Just tell them what you know. It’s for the greater good.”
I mull over her words. For the greater good. Iywan wants to open the Veil and unleash the enchantress who sought to destroy our realm. “How could opening the Veil possibly be for the greater good?” I snap.
“I never saidopening the Veilwas for the greater good.”
I blink at her, but she says nothing more.
Eefa’s voice crawls across my skin as I slowly wake from a restless sleep.
“Do you think she could be Basduun?”
“No.” Briony’s voice.
I remain as still as possible, feigning sleep.
“How are you so sure?” Eefa asks.
“I’m not sure, but I don’t think she is.”
My mind is so sluggish from the lack of proper food and water that it takes a while for me to remember the tales about the Basduunai. It was never actually outright written, but most people believed that Enidwen was a Basduun—a Dark Mage with an impressive set of powers. Probably the most powerful Dark Mages to have ever existed. It’s laughable that Eefa thinks that I could be a Basduun when I can hardly even summon flamewielding.
“Look,” she says. “I think Her Highness is awake.” Even though I can’t see her, I know she’s mocking me. “Let’s begin.”
“It’s on my terms this time,” says Briony. “You don’t interfere.”
I don’t know whether to be relieved or even more afraid.
