Lowri pulls up a chair to sit closer. “What are you going to say?” she asks me.
“I haven’t a clue,” I sigh.
There’s sympathy etched into Lowri’s face. “You… could rehearse with us? There’s still time.”
I decline her offer and sip my wine.
“I’m going to accidentally stab your scalp with this pin if you keep moving,” Ellynne says.
My leg is jostling up and down of its own volition, so I press the heel of my foot down to stop the incessant motion. The little courage I have is slipping through my fingers. “I don’t want to go to this damn meeting. What’s the point? They don’t listen to me.”
I want to go back to sleep. I want to talk to Durvla again. Too bad I have no clue how this whole dreamwalking thing works. But was the first time in a long time that I’ve had even a semblance of hope. My hand moves to my necklace, clutching the amulet like a lifeline. Sometimes I want to yank it off my neck and set fire to my bedchamber while I’m locked inside it.
Then I can avoid this loathsome palace life.
“Princess…” Lowri’s voice is soft, but it snaps me out of my thoughts, nonetheless. “Why are you crying?”
“I’m not…” I touch my fingers to my cheeks, and they come away wet. I swipe the tears away and drop my face into my hands.
Ellynne’s grasp on my hair releases and her voice comes from in front of me suddenly. “You have a lot going on, I know,” she says gently. “And also… I miss them too.”
I open my eyes, and I hate that a trickle of tears escapes. I swipe at my cheek again.
“It’s perfectly normal to miss your friends when they’re no longer with you. Especially when it’s so sudden and when there is so much going on. It’s alright to let yourself feel it all in here.” She points vaguely behind me. “But you’ll have to walk into that council chamber like the warrior princess you are and show them thatyouare the heir to the throne,notIywan.”
Lowri’s expression mimics my uncertainty. As perfect as Ellynne’s words are, I’m just so tired.
“Carys.” Ellynne’s tone is firm, determination on her face. “You can do this. Heart of a warrior remember?”
I nod, although I certainlycannotdo this.
Ellynne pulls a handkerchief from her pocket and hands it to me. “Now wipe those tears and stop messing up my makeup.” She winks at me, and I choke out a small laugh as I dab at my face. “I’m going to have to start all over now. What a mess.”
I laugh even harder, the tightness in my chest loosening a bit. It lasts all of three seconds before my mind starts reeling again.
My chest aches as my breathing grows faster, and Ellynne leans over me, her hands firmly on my shoulders. “Heart of a warrior.”
I gulp down air and nod. Tucking the amulet into my high neckline, I rub my clammy hands over the skirt of my dress and pull in a breath. “Alright.” My voice comes out whispered, and I clear my throat.
Lowri reaches across to pour a little more wine into my goblet. Ellynne protests, but Lowri says, “Just a little more. She needs it.”
It’s such a bold move for her that I can’t resist chuckling. “Thank you.” I take the goblet from her and sip it slowly while Ellynne shakes her head at me with disapproval.
I’m barely finished drinking before Ellynne takes the goblet away. “Let’s get rid of the evidence of your tears. No more wine.”
The council chamber is empty save for Iywan standing there with his fingers laced together in front of his body. I halt, Callum beside me, having switched his shift with Ren today. As much as I try to keep the confusion off my face, I know it’s more than evident.
Iywan offers me a polite smile. “Apologies for the late notice, Princess. But the meeting is canceled today.”
Relief and dread wrestle for dominance within me. It doesn’t help that I’m already nauseated. “Why?” I force myself to say.
“None of the council members were able to be present today.”
I wait, but he offers no further explanation. He only squints at me.
“I will find out what your plan is, Iywan.” My voice sounds annoyingly breathless, my hands shaking as I clasp them together.
Iywan grinds his teeth together then unclenches his jaw. “I know not what you speak of, Princess.”
