She laughs lightly and holds her hands up in surrender. “I was only kidding. You aren’t my type, pretty boy.” She winks at Callum, and he turns the brightest shade of red.
“That’s it. Both of you, leave!”
I don’t have to say it twice. Callum salutes and marches out of the bedchamber. The deepest ache fills the hollow of my chest. I rub at the spot and hop out of the bed, grabbing Eefa’s dress from the floor and tossing it at her.
My aching heart begins to pound as though it intends to leave my chest cavity. I grab my dressing robe and throw it on over my shoulders before storming out to my terrace. Gooseflesh creeps along my skin. I dig my fingers into the cool balustrade to keep myself from leaping off the balcony.
To avoid the temptation of a definite escape.
Gods, what is wrong with me? What iswrong with me? The tears come hot and fast as I bend and press my forehead to the stone surface. Alright, I have to stop this. I need to compose myself.
My gaze sweeps across the loch and the castle grounds. I draw my focus down to the coldness seeping into my bare feet. The air smells of stone and freshwater and foliage—of the outdoors. Birds chirp mockingly somewhere nearby, and the taste of something sweet and citrusy lingers on my lips from Eefa’s heedless kisses.
With a slow exhalation, I stop my mind from spiraling and chant all the senses aloud to myself over and over. “Loch. Cold. Outdoors. Birds. Citrus.”
Oh, Alys. I’m sorry for all the times I resisted your coaching. But thank you.
“Loch. Cold. Outdoors. Birds. Citrus.”
The first thing I need to do is start taking back my power as heir apparent. I need to show Iywan and everyone within the castle that I am capable of taking charge.
Tomorrow.
CHAPTER 49
Durvla
We ridelike mad until we can’t any longer. I’m hardly able to wrap my mind around the devastating shift that the night has taken. How many villagers of Dubh Carrig are without a roof over their heads tonight? How many have been left to tend to their injured or mourn their dead?
Because of us.
My chest aches from holding back tears as we ride. My returning headache and sore body are nothing compared to the sinking guilt. I hope Haruka is alright. Gods, after her hospitality and her wealth of information—I can’t imagine how worried Kilkenny and Chiyoko must be.
Hours later, we finally dismount in a desolate valley beside a small river. We’re on the ground for all of five seconds before Kilkenny reels on Chiyoko as she approaches.
“What in Lugda’s hells were you thinking?” he asks.
She frowns up at him, arms akimbo. Kilkenny is a man of average height, but Chiyoko’s petite stature makes him appear much taller. “Oh, come off it,” she says.
I squint, hardly able to make out the movements of their lips in the sparse light from the waxing crescent moon. Alys and Osheen lead the horses away, leaving me with a free escape route, but I find myself unable to move.
“I’m not going to … little mission,” Chiyoko says to Kilkenny. “… can use the extra help.”
“Little mission?” Kilkenny holds up his palm, a small ball of light forming there, illuminating the small space between him and Chiyoko.
It’s incredible. Startling, but incredible. Yet, Chiyoko doesn’t even blink.
“You think this is a game?” Kilkenny continues. “Those Forayers back there are seeking toexecuteus. They burned down our village to find us. Do you understand that? Why on earth would you intentionally put yourself in danger? You’re smarter than that!”
“How would you know how smart I am? You’ve been gone for ten years!”
“Chiyoko, lower your voice.”
She certainly does not—the muscles in her neck strain as she continues, as though she’s shouting now. “You never so much as sent one letter until you left the Royal Brigade. We thought you were dead, Tiernan!” Her face is red, and Kilkenny’s body is rigid.
Osheen and Alys keep their distance.
“When you were knighted and sent us your first letter, we thought you’d visit. Or that you’d at least have the decency to send another letter after that. Now you just show up after all this time and expect… what? What did you expect from me, Sir Tiernan?”
