Every possible path I could have walked in this life narrowed the moment that dagger left my hand, and of the many futures I might have had, very few remain. If Vos doesn’t end me here, she will the moment I step foot on La’tari soil. I am not simple enough to believe that my king will spare me from the Vatruke upon my return. They are far too great an ally for him, and I am nothing. Little more than fodder in his legions.
The moment I received my mission from the king I had known there was a chance I would never make it back to the shores I’d been raised upon. Still, I would have left this life knowing that I was a catalyst for something greater than myself. I would have saved countless lives, or so I hoped. Now, with all that I have learned, if I am to believe what they say, I know that the death of their king will only serve to end more lives than it spares—human lives, but also those of the fea.
Bile rises in my throat as I consider the fate of the fea and the part I might play in that future. It’s easy to picture the type of world I’d like to leave behind, harder to imagine, in the short time I have left, how I might help to set that course.
The Vatruke. Their end means a true end to the war. To say nothing of the fea lives that would be saved.
When my eyes meet the general’s, he is examining me curiously. His own eyes soften when he brushes a finger along the line of my jaw.
“I trust you, Shivaria.”
I huff a laugh at him, even as guilt twists in my stomach like a dull, serrated blade.
“Since when?” I ask.
“Right now,mi’ajna. This is the moment I choose to trust you.”
“Youchooseto trust me?”
His deep blue eyes roam across the lines of my face when he says, “Since I cannot read your mind just as you cannot read mine, it will have to be my choice.”
Maybe part of me wishes hecouldread my mind. This would all be so much easier if that were the case. Because knowing is one thing, but choice without certainty is something else altogether and as easily as he can choose to trust me, I canchooseto trust him too.
Even my body stiffens in rebellion as I consider giving him that kind of power over me.
“I’ve trusted before,” I admit, and a muscle ticks at the end of his jaw.
“I know,” he says, and I quirk an eyebrow at his clear assumption of my past. “You are too young to be so guarded without the hurt that comes from betrayal.” His eyes darken, jaw tensing as his voice pitches low and he rumbles, “If I knew who he was I would end him for breaking that trust.”
I don’t doubt the male when he says it, and a small part of me thaws when I find that I don’t actually mind his overprotective nature when it comes to my heart. Though if the trajectory of my life could be anything other than what it is, I would never put him in a room with the shadow master. Even after everything, it would break me beyond repair to see either of them injured by the other. And, feyn or not, there is no doubt in my mind the altercation would be more evenly matched than anyone might assume.
When I don’t say anything, his hand starts working the muscles of my shoulders.
“When you’re ready,mi’ajna. I will tell you everything.”
“What doesmi’ajnamean?” I ask, unsure I really want to know, but it’s a start. Something simple. Or so I assume.
He sighs, pinching my chin when he says, “Mi’ajnais something precious. A vital piece that is missing from the core of every feyn when they are born. Something life is meaningless without. You aremi’ajna, and I’ve searched for you for millennia. Never did I expect that the fates would be so kind when they crafted you for me. Just as I was crafted for you.”
I crush his lips with my own, cupping his neck. My deep-seatedlonging for the male wells within me, brimming with every kind touch, and every soft word and kept promise he ever whispered into my ear. Maybe I’m a fool. But the reward of having him for my own greatly outweighs any pain I could ever suffer by his hand.
He returns all the fiery passion I pour into him, palming my ass, lifting me until he has situated me above his tip and is teasing my entrance.
“I want you, Shivaria.” My breath catches in my throat when he says it.
It’s a simple declaration, one that I understand well, one that I’ve spoken to him before. But when he says it, it tugs on an invisible thread in my chest that is firmly tethered to his own on the other side.
“You have me,” I answer, understanding for the first time the promises held in the same words he said to me.
His eyes are full of that promise when he parts my entrance and slides me down his length. I moan at the perfect stretch of my body around his when he pushes himself in to the hilt.
“Say it again.” His eyes burn with the desire of his request as he pumps his thick shaft in and out in long, sweeping strokes, guiding me up and down with his hands on my hips.
“You have me.” My stomach hollows when I speak the words aloud, a slew of emotions clashing deep within my gut.
As much as it’s a relief to finally admit to myself and to speak aloud to him, I’m gripped by the fear of what I’m giving the male. Myself, unguarded and defenseless now that he knows thatheis what I want. Only once before have I spoken these words to anyone, and I push down the memories as quickly as they rise.
“Never,mi’ajna.” I barely hear the whisper as his hand travels between my legs, and he swipes a perfectly calloused thumb across my nub. “I willneverhurt you,neverbetray you.”
