“Because we were all there, the moment you learned there are still fea left in this veil. There was no pretense in your surprise when you saw her in that tree, no deception in your curiosity when you asked questions for hours after.” He shrugs. “Now you speak the language of the sprite, and the maleon the ship freely gave you his trust, denying it to all who came before you.”
I’ve given too much away tonight, and though I don’t know yet what it will cost me, there will be a high price to pay for it.
“If the fea in A’kori have given you their trust…” He shrugs again, at an apparent loss as to what that might mean to him.
I have no doubt he will be piecing together every word and action he’s ever witnessed from me until he has teased some deeper truth from it all. An uncomfortable silence falls over the room. I’m not sure if he’s waiting for an explanation or a rebuttal but I can’t give him either.
“It’s late,” I say, deflecting and entirely unsure if he will leave it until morning.
He nods, a flicker of disappointment passing over his features as he turns toward the hall. He grips the lever on the door, glancing back as he says, “Maybe the fea are wrong about you.”
I’m not sure why my heart aches when he says it.
“Or, maybe,” he adds, “you are simply wrong about yourself.”
I don’t reply. What can I say? Unlike the male standing before me, I know exactly what I am.
“You should know that twining your life with a fea is rarely worth their chaotic meddlings,” he says, as he begins to swing the door closed.
I can’t help but chuckle, remembering the golden braid still woven into my hair. But the feyn are fea, and I can’t help but wonder if he is trying to warn me off the species entirely.
I quirk an eyebrow at his back and ask, “All fea?”
“I’d like to think that some are worth a bit of the chaos,” he answers as the door shuts with a loud click.
After the events of the evening and even after all the general said, still, there is a giant vacancy where my stomach should be. I refused the general as a companion, making Awri my only friend at court, my only line to the king. No matter what the male says and despite the fact that he has known her for years, I know that there is no way to truly mend the rift that settled between us on that ship.
Because even if she began to see the events of the evening in the same light as the general, she now knows a greater part of who I am and what I amcapable of.
CHAPTER 23
THE A’KORI PALACE
Present Day
There is no sign of the sprites when I wake in a bloody crimson haze, barely clinging to reality. I laid awake for hours last night. My attempts to shut off the current in my mind and just sleep, a true and utter failure. The thundering in my head, evidence that what little sleep I obtained was hard won and my victory not at all impressive.
The pounding, along with the brutal visions, fade as I ready myself for the day. I’m brushing through my curls when a letter slides under my door, bearing a stamped wax crane—Awri’s seal. She was on my mind when sleep finally took hold of me. Even at the height of her anger, I had not doubted she would seek me out again. I only hope it is to mend ties and not fray them further.
A curious blend of joy and trepidation twists my gut when her letter asks me to meet her at the stables. She would like me to join her for a hunt, just the two of us. I’m more than a little surprised by the invitation, and I can only hope she isn’t planning my demise in the form of a well-placed arrow. I don’t think so, but no one ever walks into such things without being blindto them.
The cool spring air nips at my nose. An early morning fog drapes over A’kori, obscuring the city from view. I follow the reverberating sound of blades clashing in the quiet of daybreak, every strike echoing in the dense mist. I offer my friend a small smile when she appears out of the fog, donning the same leathers I wear and an equally pensive smile.
I don’t have the chance to say a single word before she embraces me. Clapping her hands against my back, she says, “I am truly sorry. I should not have spoken to you like that. Not when I call you my friend. Please forgive me.”
I return her embrace with a gentle squeeze of my own, utterly unprepared for the grace she extends. While lying in bed I pondered at length how she might approach me, what she was likely to say, and what I would say in return. Of all the conversations I constructed in my mind, this had not been one of them.
“There is nothing to forgive,” I say, “I understand how it looks but—”
“Don’t,” she interrupts, “You don’t have to explain.” She pulls back and smiles at me proudly. “It’s a testament to your character that you honor your friends’ secrets.”
A dull pain strikes my chest when she says it. There is no honor in what I plan. Duty, yes. But no honor in the life I’ll take and the injury her heart will suffer because of her trust in me.
I don’t miss that, like the general, she seems to have her suspicions about where I learned the sprite tongue, but I take her at her word when she says I don’t have to explain and leave it at that.
I force a smile, and she leads me toward the stables. I envy Riesh and Kishek as we pass by the sparring ring. They round one another with long, heavy blades, and I flex my hand, wishing I could feel the hilt of a sword again. The general watches from the sideline, his chest still slick with sweat from the rounds he’d gone before I arrived. My eyes can’t help but linger, feasting on his flesh. I chide myself for looking when his eyes catch mine and his entire body tenses in recognition of my gaze.
I puff out a relieved breath when the general’s stare is broken by the wall of the stables as I follow Awri inside. A quick glance around tells methat the female had this arranged since early this morning. Her grey dappled mare is saddled alongside the midnight mare I borrowed from Felias.
