Business requires me to lie.The thought came with bitter clarity.To deceive rivals, trick police, conceal information. Someday it will require me to kill.
I'd accepted all of that. Been trained for it. Embraced it, even.
But there was one thing my job had never required.
One line I'd never been asked to cross.
Lying to myself.
If you lied to yourself, you were lost. Adrift in a world where you couldn't trust a single soul—because if you couldn't trust yourself, who could you turn to?
If you betrayed yourself, why should anyone else care about betraying you?
My father had taught me that. In one of our last conversations before he died.
"Jules, you can lie to everyone else if you have to. But never, ever lie to yourself. That's where madness lives. In thespace between what you know is true and what you pretend to believe."
I'd thought I understood then.
I hadn't. Not really.
Not until now. Not until I was forced to choose between duty and love. Between family and self. Between the life I'd been raised to live and the life I desperately wanted.
I will not lie to myself anymore.
The promise felt sacred. Binding.
I love Quentin Vanetti. I cannot kill him. I will not kill him. Even if my family orders it. Even if refusing destroys me.
That was the truth.
The only truth that mattered.
Tonight, when Quentin arrived, I would tell him everything. The whole truth. Every ugly detail.
And then I would face the consequences.
Whatever they were.
I glanced at the clock. Six-fifteen.
Less than two hours until he arrived.
Less than two hours to prepare for the most important conversation of my life.
I stood, legs unsteady, and headed to my closet. I’d start by wearing something that made me look good, but vulnerable. Then to the bathroom for makeup and hair.
If tonight was going to be my last night—one way or another—I was going to face it looking my best. Honest. True to myself.
Even if the truth destroyed everything I'd ever known.
Especiallythen.
Chapter 29
Quentin
Ipulled up outside Julia's apartment five minutes early and sat in the car for a full minute, hands gripping the steering wheel.
