“What?” He says with a shoulder shrug, as if there was nothing weird about that interaction. “You don’t want me to be the one to show you around?”
There’s that smug but irresistible charm that just radiates from him. Tessa remembers it so well, and she feels both annoyed yet oddly comforted by it at the same time. Something about it makes her feel happy, to know he’s got some of the same traits that he did all those years ago.
“You can show me around,” she answers with a shrug, trying to seem unaffected.
“Follow me, Miss Smith.”
She shakes her head and laughs but does exactly as he says and follows him as he guides her around the grounds of the stadium. He takes his time walking and talking with her, lingering on certain spots a bit longer than necessary so that he can stop and get a good look at her. Her eyes are curious and introspective as they walk along, and he can tell by the intense way she stares at him when he talks that she’s listening to every word. He shows her the practice field, the locker rooms, the building with the personal trainers and admin offices, and then he ends with bringing her to the main field.
It’s not lost on her how similar this is from the night 10 years ago when he brought her onto the field at Vanderbilt. She had been in awe even then at how big the field was and the stands, but there was no comparing to the size of this stadium.
“This is huge!” She says with a gasp as she walks onto the field, swiveling her head around to try to understand the sheer size of this place.
“Yeah it is, and this place gets packed, completely filled up with people. I can’t even explain to you how loud it gets in here.”
“Wow,” she says breathlessly, noticing how small they both seem in the middle of such a huge stadium. “You must love every second.”
He watches her as she says this, her smile small but the look in her eyes tells him that she’s remembering the time they spent together when they were young, and that she’s remembering how much he loved it then, and how much he must love it now.
“It’s the best thing in the world. I don’t know how I got this lucky.”
There’s a heavy silence that happens between them now, a silence that is filled with unspoken words, unanswered questions, and the heartbreaking reality that this was all almost taken away from Tristan.
Tessa’s eyes are glued to the turf and Tristan scratches the back of his neck nervously, unsure how to proceed with the conversation now that it turned awkward and tense.
“Tessa, there’s so much I want to say-” he breaks the silence between them, but she quickly shakes her head and takes a step back from him, and a defeated sigh breaks from his lips as he watches her back away; running,again.
“I don’t think I want to do that right now, Tristan,” she says, rushing the words out so she doesn’t second guess herself and holds them back. “I just got here and it’s very overwhelming. Having our paths cross like this is a lot to process, and the bottom line is that I came here because I have a job to do. Let’s just leave it at that.”
She starts to back away, but he follows her movement.
“Okay, I understand,” he says with a nod. “Do you think we could talk though? At some point?”
She sighs and shakes her head, still backing away, and his movement stills when she shakes her head no.
“I don’t know, Trist. Let’s just worry about our jobs. You focus on football, I’ll focus on my assignment, and hopefully it all goes by quickly.”
She turns and walks out of the stadium, her heart feeling like it’s being twisted – an agonizing feeling she hasn’t experiencedsince the day she decided to leave him; to leave him for his own sake. And before she walks out of the stadium, she turns to take one more look at him, standing in the middle of the field, one of his jerseys hanging from a rafter in the nosebleeds, and her heart hurts a little bit less.
He wouldn’t have had this if she stayed; if she let him continue to focus on her and make bad decisions because of her. And although she still feels the deep cracks of the heart break, she feels a small part of herself heal. She felt it that day she watched him get drafted on the small TV in her college apartment at Texas Tech, and she’s feeling it again now, seeing him in all his glory in the stadium that practically worships him.
Later that evening, Tessa was busy setting up two plate settings at her small dining room table in her condo, waiting for her guest to arrive. She set up the plates, glasses of wine, and put the takeout Chinese food and chopsticks in the center of the table.
She felt tired deep in her bones; an exhaustion that wasn’t from any kind of physical exertion, but emotional. Seeing Tristan again was both easier and harder than she thought it would be. She had thought their conversation would be awkward, but of course, their chemistry was palpable from the first moment they said hello, the way in which he said her name and spoke to her as if she held the moon made her stomach twist with butterflies. But things had also turned heavy, and fast, which is also on brand for them. That’s what happened 10 years ago. It was such an intense flash of chemistry, emotion, love, obsession, lust…anything and everything they could possibly feel they felt in the short time they knew each other. And just as quickly as it ignited like white lightning, it was snuffed out withdrama, bad decisions, emotional immaturity, and irreversible consequences.
Tessa took a deep breath as she finished setting up the dinner scene and moved her neck from side to side, trying to release some of the tension from the day.
A knock on her door took her out of her thoughts, and she quickly went to open it.
On the other side of the door was Brinley Matthews, her old college roommate. They had become friends immediately back then. Their personalities were very different but for some reason that made them click together well, and there was a deep emotional trust between the two of them that she had been desperately missing when she had to leave Abigail and Amber in Nashville.
“Oh my God!” Brinley’s mega white smile hadn’t changed a bit, and Tessa’s heart swelled at the sight of her. Brinley threw her arms around Tessa, having to reach up a bit since Brinley was shorter than average and Tessa was taller than average, but their hug still came naturally to them.
They both pulled back and Tessa invited Brinley inside.
“I’m so happy to see you,” Tessa said with a smile and handed a glass of wine to Brinley.
“Oh, Isoneed this,” she said, taking a big gulp before flashing another smile at Tessa. “You know, mom life and all.”
