Tessa paused for a moment and considered his question. For a minute, their conversation had diverted her attention from the fact that she would be face to face with her first love whom sheran away from with her tail between her legs a decade ago. Her face got hot from the reality of what she was about to walk into.
“I’m um…a journalist and I’m supposed to be writing an expose on the Titans.”
“No shit,” he said, his eyebrows shooting to his hairline in surprise. He looked at her through the review mirror. “Do you get to meet them?”
“Yes,” she breathed the word heavily. “I’ll actually be spending quite a lot of time with them.”
“Alright well I want autographs,” he said with a mischievous smile but serious tone. “Kelly and Matthews. On their jerseys.”
Her heart skipped again at the mention of Tristan.
“I’ll get right on that,” she said with a smile.
That night, Tessa sat alone on the couch of her rented townhome. It was in a high rise on the Kansas, Missouri border. It was sleek and modern. Comfortable enough but devoid of any kind of character or coziness. She liked her space to feel lived in and somewhat eclectic, and this place did not reflect that at all. But she was grateful her team had found her something safe and even a touch luxurious. It would be more than fine, but it did add to the fact that she was completely alone out here.
Brinley had tried to reach out several times throughout the day, but Tessa had yet to return any texts or calls. She just simply wasn’t ready. She loved Brinley and remembered her well from when they were roommates. Brinley was high energy and bubbly and go go go. And Tessa could be like that too, but right now she was far from it. Right now, she was tired, and emotional, and painfully uncertain about how this was all going to play out.
So instead of answering Brinley’s calls and letting her drag her out to some kind of Kansas City club scene to celebrateher arrival, she was eating a to-go order of ribs and mac and cheese from a local restaurant alone on her couch. The food was delicious, the couch was comfortable, the twinkling lights of downtown shining brightly through her window was enchanting and charming. But instead of feeling any semblance of happiness, she was sick to her stomach with anxiety.
Would he say hi to her? Ignore her? Does he hate her? Still love her? She was simply going crazy with all the uncertainty. And as if right on fucking queue, her mom called.
“How in the hell do you always know when I’m a wreck?” Tessa asked into the phone.
“Because I grew you in my body,” Allison said without skipping a beat. “You and I share a heart and a soul. Same with your brother.”
“It’s more fun to believe you’re a witch.”
“What’s going on? You unpacked?”
“Yeah,” Tessa said, pulling her feet up onto the couch and taking a small bite of the cookie she ordered with dinner. It was delicious, but her stomach was in knots from anxiety, and she put it down as quickly as she picked it up. “Almost everything unpacked, but I’m so nervous about tomorrow. I’m not sure I’ve ever been this nervous in my life, how pathetic is that?”
“Not pathetic at all,” Allison answered with a stern tone. “What you’re walking into is frankly something you never recovered from. You’ve ignored it for 10 years. Stuffed it down. Busied yourself with anything you could so your mind didn’t drift into his world for even a second. And now here you are, unexpectedly about to face him and he has no idea.”
“I thought you called to make me feel better,” Tessa said dryly, “You’re adding to my anxiety.”
“I’m simply validating what you’re feeling and also letting you know that if anyone can face this head on, it’s you.”
“Maybe I should just go back to NYC. Tell my team I’m not doing it and find another publication.”
“Tessa you have got to stop running!” Allison’s exasperated voice put a dagger through Tessa’s heart. “I did not raise you this way! You are strong and brilliant and capable. This is a huge opportunity. You should be honored they want you to profile such a highly successful subject like this. Your publication will get more attention than you’ve ever dreamed of simply because of how big of a deal this team is. Now grab this issue by the horns and face it head on!”
“God damnit,” Tessa sighed. “Fine.”
“Don’t let some boy take away your dreams.”
“I’m not,” she said defiantly. “But he’s also not just some boy.”
“I know honey,” Allison’s tone was softer now. “He meant a lot to you, you’ve been trying to find the same spark ever since, you guys broke off your relationship with very intense feelings for each other okay, I get it. I totally understand why you’re feeling this way.”
“But?” She asked, waiting for her mom’s rebuttal.
“But you’re better than this. I want you to wake up tomorrow morning, put on your most perfect outfit, and stand in front of him like the confident woman I know you are.”
“Okay. Thanks mom.”
“And no wine tonight! Don’t want Tristan seeing you for the first time with the hangover shakes.”
“Ugh, why do you always know what I’m about to do before I do it!”
