“Yours and that’s why I’m trying to help you see clearly. She didn’t say that she doesn’t like you, she said she’s scared. You’re going to have to show her with your actions, not just words, that you’re not going to do that.”
“But how am I supposed to do that?” Tristan asked. It seemed like such a simple thing – but although Tristan had a multitude of experience having fun with girls, hedidn’thave a lot being emotionally vulnerablewiththem. And to be frank,neither didJordan, but he always seemed to have a much more level head and stable view of the world.
“Well,I would just keep showing up. Keep being committed to your study sessions.Don’tgo to any crazy parties.Definitely don’thook up with anyone.Keep telling her how you feel. Just try to be a stable and steady force for her.She’safraidyou’retoo unpredictable, too chaotic. You need to show how her thatyou’rehonest and a man of your word. Show her with your actions, Trist.”
Tristan stayed quiet butnoddedhis understanding. He felt the intense need to tell her again – to tell her theextentof his feelings for her and then show her exactly how he feels about her. All he could hope at this point was that she would be open to receiving what he has to say.
Tessa sat with Abigail in their living room as they ate some of their favorite finger foods and sipped on charDianey. It was now a Wednesday night, the only night of the week that they both were able to sit together and catch up from their busy weeks. It had beena very specialtraditionthat they started last year.
Tessa sat on their vintage couch wrapped in her favoritecrotchetblanket that her grandmother made for her a year before she passed. It was chilly outside. The October air had a bite toitand it had been gloomy all day, and it was starting to sprinkle. This was Tessa’s favorite kind of weather, and usually she would be deliriously happy sipping wine on a rainy night with her best friend, but shecouldn’tignore the steady feeling of longing, confusion, and sadness that was occupying her heart.
“Idon’tknow what to do, Abigail,” she said in a whisper, looking into her wine glass.
“What’sholding you back, girl? Because he seems great, and he clearly really likes you.What’stelling you that youdon’tdeserve to be with this guy?”
Tessa sighed and took a few moments to contemplate the question.
“Idon’tknow.I guess I’ve justhad such disappointing experiences with relationships. I always have suchhigh expectationsand then the guy turns out to be a liar or boring or full of himself oronlywants to hook up. Why would he beany different?Andhe’sso much more than any of my exes.I’veseenwith my own eyesthegirlsthathe’sbeen withstillobsessed with him even though they broke up. If I started...dating him or whatever the hell he wants to do with me,he willprobably justend up going back to one of them. Who knows how many there are.”
Abigail’s hazel eyes watched Tessa carefully. She knew how amazing her best friend was and knew how beautiful she was and everything that she had to offer. For somereason,Tessa was always selling herself short.
“TessaI’veonly been aroundyou guysonce andit’sso clear thathe’senamored with you. He looks at you likeyou’rea precious diamond or something. He begged you to go to that game and then begged you to come to the party after. Which, by the way, hefollowed you around like alovesickpuppy the entire time. He wasequalparts trying to keep you safe from drunken losersand alsotrying to make sure no one would hit on you. And the smile on his face when you were singing like an idiot in the back of his truck? You need to stop overthinking and let this guy love you. Something tells me it could be the greatest surprise of your life.”
Tessa felt her eyes well up at her friend’s words.Abigailwas always so kind and uplifting. Their friendship was pure and genuine, and she thankedGodevery day that they were assignedas roommates theirfreshmanyear in thosegod awfuldorms, because now she had her best friend.
“I have to see him tomorrow for our study session and I don’t know what I’mgonnado,” Tessa said with a sigh. “Watch him not even show up. He looked so pissed that I was with Jake on campus on Monday. Like he wanted to punch him in the face. I was so stunned by it that I just stood there like an idiot.”
“Dude, you’re so blind its insane,” Abigail said with a laugh, “He was jealous that you were with another guy. Tessa, this guy has feelings for you. Like deep rooted feelings thathe’strying to fight butcan’t.You’remaking me feel bad for him, and Ineverfeel bad for a man.”
Tessa laughed out loud and then took a deep breath, letting their conversation process and all of her thoughts settle in.
Her phone began vibrating, pulling her out of her thoughts, and she looked down to see Tristan’s name on the screen. Her heart stopped.
“He’s calling me,” she said, looking up at Abigail with fearful eyes. “What do I do?”
“What do you do? Answer it you idiot! Did you not just hear anything I said?!”
“Alright, Jesus.”
Tessa took a moment to gather herself before she decided to answer.
“Hey,” she said, her voice cracking slightly.
“Hey...” His voice came through on the other end. It was deep, slow, and strained.
A few moments of silence hung between them before Tessa decided to be the one to speak up.“So...what’sup?” Shecouldn’thelp but laugh nervously, giving Abigail an awkward look.
“Can you come outside, please?”
“Outside where?” She asked, confused.
“Outside of your house,” Tristan answered flatly.
“You’re outside of my house?” She shot Abigail a ‘help me’ look to which Abigail threw up her handsin an attempt tosay‘you’re on yourown’.
“Just give me five minutes Tessa, please.” He sounded desperate and emotional. Her heart thudded against herribshearing him like this.
“Okay, I’ll come out in a sec.”
