He licks a line up my neck, over where he bit me, too, and I flinch at the sting even as my desire grows, turning so hot I feel as if I’m burning up despite what little I’m wearing.
Still, I needmore.
I force my brain to send signals to my body tomove.I shift forward on the windowsill, the cold of the wood caressing chills up my thighs. He groans at the same moment his teeth dig deeper into my skin and I feel how hard he is, pressed up against exactly where I want him.
Fuck me, Sullen.
I want to say it, but I’m scared to push him. He’s never done this before and maybe I’m being too much, too needy, too desperate, letting him grind against me on a windowsill, both ofus still dressed. But the sounds he’s making in the back of his throat as he sucks on my skin are too good for me to even try to stop any of this.
Besides, he promised he wouldn’t. Stop, that is.
I hope he keeps his promise.
I shift my hips, pressing more fully against him, and a low whimper escapes my lips, the sound raspy from the way he’s holding me by the back of my neck, keeping my chin lifted, muscles strained. He smiles against my skin, but I hear his heavy pants, too, and I know he’s just as affected as I am, even ifI’mthe only one in awe of just how big his dick feels.
“Please,”I whisper, my eyes flashing open as he angles his head more and clamps down on my neck like he’s a dog and I’m his toy.“Please, Sullen.”I don’t release my grip on his arms and the tension in his muscles mirrors my own.
“Please?” he mimics me, his tongue flicking along my skin as he speaks. “Please,what?”Then, as if he really wants an answer, he pulls back enough and lets up on the pressure around my neck.
I dip my chin, meeting his gaze. His pupils are so wide, it’s like his eyes are black. I can feel his breath on my lips, his pulse through my grip on his arms, and of course, his erection is pressed so tightly between my thighs, it’s hard to think of anything else at all.
What did he ask? What do I want?
“You. Please…”The words leave my lips, much like my thoughts. I don’t know if it’s what he did to me, the cut on my thigh, presumablydruggingme, or… I shake my head a little, as if I can get my brain back together that way. The motion causes the bites on my neck to sting and I wince. A crease forms between his brows, a bone in his jaw moving as he studies me.
I’m worried he’ll stop if he thinks he hurt me so I scramble for something to say. To more clearly answer his question.“Please fuck me.” My voice breaks and my cheeks heat, but I don’t care. “Don’t make me wait anymore. I’ve wanted you for so long, Sullen.” I sound whiny, but I don’t take it back. I mean every word.
“How long?” he demands, his gaze roaming over mine, like he truly wants to know.
“Years.” I can’t calculate time in my head. I’ve always been drawn to him, that’s all I know. It should be enough. He’s been my obsession just as much as he claims I’ve been his.“Forever.”I swallow hard, hoping my grasping at words is enough. I feel clumsy, inadequate, inexperienced, and I know that must be what he did to me, what he put into my bloodstream, because between us, I should know what I’m doing. But right now, he’s in control. At least, I hope that’s how he feels. If he does, he’s more likely to keep going.
“Why didn’t you wait for me?” he asks, bowing his head to mine, our temples together. “Why did you… letthem…instead of me?”
I know who he means.Cosmo. Von.I want to scream. Von is my friend. Cosmo was, for a long time. But aside from friendship, they are nothing to me. I did not risk my life for them. I didn’t even turn back under the hotel, to see if Von was okay.
Why can’t he see that? But I know he did, he does, he just doesn’t believe it. He doesn’t think he’s worthy, and because I didn’t wait for him then, in his warped little mind, it reinforces those feelings of undeserving.
“I wish I would have,” I tell him truthfully, trying to catch my breath, my brain, tothinkof how to talk him into fucking me. Maybe that makes me the monster, but I feel as if I’m going to be empty forever and I want him to fill menow.I slide my hands up to his shoulders and I feel him tense, but I keep going until my arms are around his neck, holding onto him. “Iwish it had been you. I always thought of you. I always wanted you. And I… I assumedyouwere hooking up with other people and…” I close my eyes, realizing how stupid I was for such an assumption, knowing now he was locked away and tortured for years, right under my nose, and just like Sanford accused me of, I did nothing.
Sullen laughs. It’s dark and dangerous and husky, but the sound forces my eyes open. “You are so fucking stupid.” Before I can protest or get angry or say anything, he leans in, and his mouth comes over mine.
My breath catches in shock, and I’m not aware he’s kissing me until a second later, when his hands are gripping my ass, pulling me into him.
This time, from adrenaline or maybe desire or sheer desperation, I’m able to move my limbs, to tighten my legs around his waist.
He moans into my mouth, and I finally catch up.
Shit.
He’s kissing me.
I take full advantage of the heat of his lips, the nearness of his tongue. I dart my own into his mouth, and for a heartbeat, he stops, frozen, his fingers pressed so painfully into my curves, I know he’ll leave bruises.
I tighten my arms around his neck, arching my back, pressing my breasts to his chest, molding my body to his.Let me, let me, let me.
Then he says,“Fuck, Karia,”the sound between our lips, and he lets me twirl my tongue with his. He opens his mouth wider, his sharpened canine hitting against my teeth, and Ilikeit, how sloppy and messy and frantic this feels.
Kissing him feels better than any sex I’ve ever had. Hot and wet and crazed, everything seems out of control, but unlike mypast, when I really was out of it, this isn’t simply something happeningtome.
