But he does not stop.
“Karia.” He says it again.
I inhale the warm air, the scent of candles and bubbles andhim.Dying roses, a cemetery in the rain during the fall. My comfort. My protection.My sun, too.
“I don’t have words.” His voice breaks, like my father’s did, but this means something more, because he was in itwith me,shielding my body with his own in a way Antwine Ven never would. Never could. “I don’t have… the right thing to say.” He is gasping now.
Crying.
He is crying.
I hear it in his voice, feel it in his body, and I only nuzzle against him more, desperate to vanish any space between us.
“But you are my life now.” It is a confession swallowed by a sob.
He rocks back and forth.
I feel tears prick behind my closed eyes as I listen. Let him speak.
“You areeverything.You always have been. My solace. The reason I kept going. The reason I am here. You are all of it.”
I swallow the lump in my throat.
I dig my nails against his chest. I know he wants it, the pressure, the pain, the reminder I am here and I am not going anywhere.
Not without him.
“And I want you to be more.” He presses his lips to my temple. “I want you to be my wife. I want you to have my children.”
My eyes fly open.
I am staring up at him now.
All the air feels gone from my lungs. It is something I never would have expected him to say in any seriousness, beyond torturing me. Not after what he grew up with. Not after what happened to his mother in front of his eyes.
“I wantus.”There are tears falling from his deep brown eyes, carving lines down his face.
I reach up tentatively.
He lets me cup my hand to his cheek, along his jaw.
I rub my thumb over his mouth and he speaks around it. “I want everything.” A laugh bursts free from his tears. “I have had nothing. I wanteverything,and I want it with you.”
My bottom lip trembles.
I don’t think I could speak if I tried.
“I have always loved you,” he says, his eyes never leaving mine. He does not waver. “I will never stop.”
My nostrils flare.
I try to breathe. It feels too much and not enough, all at once.
I shift in his arms, until I am straddling him, my knees bracketing his strong body. I loop my arms around his neck.
I can feel him, hard beneath me.
“Can I?” I ask, wanting to ride him. Wanting to love him.
