“I’ve spent this entire time trying to forget it. And failing.” The rumbly words sink low in my belly, causing me to ache all over, but the flush on my throat spills the truth, too. I’m embarrassed I’m like this, and yet I meant what I said.
Cyn is my biggest supporter, my closest friend, and even she has warned me that giving it up to any guy I find attractive will “ruin my soul.”
I press my tongue to the roof of my mouth and try not to say the angry words right there in my brain, but I fail. “Go ahead and fuck me. Then you can stop pretending to care.”
He sits up straighter, as if I struck him. Once more, I’m in awe over how big he is. “Please stop.”
“Why? Isn’t that the real reason you invited me here?” My temper is explosive now and I know I’m being immature and ridiculous but when my mood crashes down like this, it’s like I can’t stop. I hop down from the stool, standing between his knees as I point my finger in his face, disregarding the fact he could throw me across the room if he felt like it. “You’re more polite than Sylvan, and far better than Jackson or Will, but you want the same thing.” I step closer, and his knees lock around my sides, but I ignore the electricity that seems to pulse between us with the movement. “Fuck me. I’m nothing but a whore, and you’re anelitehockey player, so obviously, I’ll let you?—”
His hand shoots to my throat, cutting off my words. It’s not the force that shuts me up; he’s oddly gentle about it, even as his other arm comes around my spine and drags me ever closer to him.
It’s the unexpectedness of it.
Faust Darling didn’t seem like the type.
But now that his big hand is wrapped around my neck and he’s not letting me move, his arm locking me in place between his thighs, I see it. What I saw the first night, when I was between him and his teammate both.
There’s something dangerous beneath his quiet exterior too, isn’t there?
He tips my chin up with his hold underneath my jaw, and forces me to look at him, eye to eye.
“Stop, Neve.” He enunciates each word carefully, his full lips gorgeous as he tries to tame me. “I don’t thinkanyof those things about you. Whoever put it into your head that you’re only good to fuck, if I find out who it is…” He dips his head, so his eyes are precisely level with mine. “I will murder them.”
My body, before so hot, turns ice cold.
I know he can feel my pulse beat in my throat.
Considering the two murders surrounding us right now, I shouldn’t find it so attractive. It should scare me. And on some level, evident by that chill down my spine, it does. But no man has ever said anything like this to me before and seemed to mean it.
Nolan was—is—overprotective, but he likes to blame me for anyone who treats me less than. He has this image of me as an angel but I never fit, and so he assumes something in my behavior or attire or general demeanor provokes people, on accident. It keeps me blameless in his mind but full of mistaken sin, too. In fact, on Faust’s list of people to murder based on the criteria he just said, my own brother might show up on it.
Faust nudges his nose to mine.
I inhale deep, my hands by my sides, my body rigid in his hold, but I don’t try to pull away. Something like compassion seems to wash over me. It makes me feel vulnerable, unsteady, but I’m not quite ready to decimate it and turn my back to it just yet.
“You don’t need to be this way with me.”
I don’t ask what he means bythis way.I know. Deep down, in the dark places I don’t want to look, I understand exactly what he’s saying.
“I’m asking about them,” he lifts his brows, his nose still pressed to mine, as if he wants me to understand who he means by “them” without saying their names and ruining our moment.
I definitely understand.
And I know eventually, I’ll ruin this moment myself.
I’m sorry, Faust.A silent, preemptive apology for when I fuck it all up.
“I want to know what connection they could have to Sylvan, and how it all comes back toyou.”He whispers the last word over my lips, then runs his nose against mine again.
I feel like melting here. Just like this. Only for tonight.
Maybe I’ll fuck it up in the morning.
But tonight, could I keep him?
“And I want to know how you met them. Because they were older, weren’t they? And I find it pretty fucking gross they were hanging around college students our age. Poaching them from campus, judging by how often they seemed to be here, and they’re not students themselves.” He brushes his lips over mine, still gripping tight to my throat, but gentle enough I can easily take in air. “Don’t you, Neve? Find it gross?”
“Yes,” I murmur.
