‘No. When?’
After Ingrid arrived home, Aaron and I had talked about him getting in touch with her but he’d been so angry that we’d agreed it would be best to wait until he was feeling calmer and the conversation could be less emotional. He’d evidently decided to call her anyway and presumably he hadn’t told me because it hadn’t gone well.
‘On Sunday,’ Ingrid said. ‘It wasn’t much of a conversation – more of a rant on his part. He made it clear that he doesn’t like, trust or respect me and does not under any circumstances ever want to live with me again.’
Her voice cracked as she reached the end of that sentence and, as tears clouded her eyes, I couldn’t help feeling sorry for her. It would break my heart to have one of my children say that to me. I wished Aaron had told me about the phone call although I could understand why he hadn’t. We were onlyjust getting to know each other again and he wouldn’t have known how I’d react if he went against my wishes so that was something we’d need to address. I wanted him to know that he could talk to me about anything and, if it was bad, we’d work through it together. Although whether we continued to have a relationship was in Ingrid’s hands, which made me feel incredibly nervous. I couldn’t bear the thought of not being able to see him again and I dreaded to think what that would do to Aaron and the rest of my family.
‘Got to admit, that was hard to hear,’ Ingrid continued, ‘but it’s nothing I didn’t deserve. I broke Aaron’s trust a long time ago, made mistakes, handled things so badly…’ She broke off and took a gulp of tea. ‘Idowant to try and rebuild some sort of relationship with him but I know there’ll be no chance of that if I demand he moves back in with me. I think the only hope for us is if he stays with you.’
I stared at her, my head spinning. ‘For how long?’
She shrugged. ‘I don’t know. I think the damage might be irreparable.’
My mouth felt very dry and I grabbed for my water, trying to process what she was saying.
‘Are you asking me to have Aaron with me permanently?’
‘I know it’s what he wants. What about you? Would you be willing to do that?’
‘You already know I still think of him as my son so of course it’s a yes, but having him live with me is the easy part. Would I be resuming the role of dad?’
‘If that’s what you want.’
‘Of course it is, but how would that work for you and me? Being a parent is about making decisions every day – some minor, some huge – and the last thing Aaron needs is us battling over what we both think’s best for him.’
‘If he’s living with you, I wouldn’t interfere. That wouldn’t be fair.’
‘But you’re still his mother. And what if you change your mind in a few months’ time? What if Declan objects?’
‘He won’t. The divorce is happening and Declan’s out of the picture for good.’ Ingrid’s voice cracked and tears spilled down her cheeks. She took a deep breath and her voice shook as she continued. ‘His solicitor will be sending me some paperwork relinquishing his claim on all three kids, giving me full custody and the right to make all decisions regarding their future without involving or informing him.’
I gasped. What sort of man relinquished himself of all his responsibilities just like that? He was divorcing Ingrid but he was effectively divorcing his children too. And to think how hard he’d battled to keep me away from Aaron, only to toss him aside six years later. I’d never understand what Ingrid saw in Declan but clearly she’d loved him and was heartbroken at this turn of events. There was no point me hurting her further by vocalising how disgusted I was with him. There were more important things to discuss.
‘Did you mention this to Aaron when you spoke to him?’
‘I didn’t get a chance to say much and it was only fair to speak to you first anyway. Didn’t want to get his hopes up in case you said no and he was stuck with me.’ She gave a weak smile through her tears. ‘What do you think?’
‘In theory it’s a yes but this is huge. I think we should take a couple of days to think through the practicalities and then agree a way forward that works for everyone. We need Aaron’s input too and it’s vital he knows that him living with me isn’t about you rejecting him.’
‘You think he’d see it as rejection?’
I nodded. ‘Wouldn’t you in his shoes? Hesees rejection as a recurring theme thanks to what you and Declan told him about me.’
She hung her head again. ‘We should never have done that. It was Declan who…’ She paused and looked up. ‘No, I need to take accountability. Declan didn’t want you in Aaron’s life but I went along with it and I’m sorry for the pain that caused you.’
‘And Aaron, and the girls and my parents. It’s like ripples on a pond.’
Ingrid nodded but she didn’t say anything. Nobody did and I wondered if the conversation was over, but then Ingrid cleared her throat and looked pointedly at Billy.
‘Actually, Jed, we wondered if it would be best to speak to a solicitor specialising in family law,’ Billy said. ‘Maybe make it more official.’
‘You mean a shared custody arrangement?’ I frowned as I looked from one to the other. ‘I’m confused. You just said you think he should live with me and now you think he should split his time between us?’
Ingrid shook her head. ‘I don’t want to mess him or you about. By official, we mean adoption.’
My heart pounded. ‘Are you serious?’
‘He needs some stability. You’d give him that.’
