They both stared at me, frowning, and I realised too late that my emotions had got the better of me and I’d said too much.
‘Why mostly Leanne?’ Dad asked. ‘We know she set you up with Garth and the marriage was fake but surely that would be equal blame or perhaps greater blame for Garth because he’s the one who married you. Unless…’
My heart pounded and I felt lightheaded.
‘Unless you didn’t tell us everything.’
I looked at their earnest expressions and recalled the day in December when I saw them for the first time since I left London. We’d addressed why I’d fled and it seemed that they knew about Leanne setting me up with Garth to deflect rumours at work of a lifestyle unbecoming to a senior police officer. They’d known about The Manor too but they clearly hadn’t known about my ‘playmates’ grooming me. I’d wondered about telling them but, as they’d already cut Leanne off, I couldn’t see the benefit. It wouldn’t help me raking over painful memories, never mind the embarrassment of retelling something so intimate. They’d feel guilty for being so oblivious, for not protecting me, and they’d already been through so much with Leanne and with Mum’s cancer diagnosis. So I didn’t tell them the whole truth and now I wished I had.
‘Tara?’ Dad prompted, bringing my attention back to the present day.
‘You know everything,’ I said, unable to look him in the eye. ‘I just blame Leanne more because she was meant to be my big sister. She was meant to protect me.’
I sipped on my hot chocolate, the sunny yellow mug in stark contrast to my dark mood. ‘We’ll stay in touch. I don’t want to lose you again.’
Mum placed her hand over mine. ‘We don’t wantto lose you either.’
‘I need to check on Hercules,’ I said, my voice catching once more. ‘I’ll be back in ten minutes, although maybe it would be best if…’
Dad nodded and the tears in his eyes were too much. I was hurting them both and I hated doing that to two people I loved so much.
‘I’m sorry,’ I whispered, abandoning my drink and diving for the door, unlocking it with a shaky hand and sprinting up the stairs. I made it up the two flights before my legs collapsed under me and I sank onto the top step, clinging onto the handrail, anguished wails pouring from me.
37
JED
I felt anxious all Friday afternoon, knowing how much of a big deal it was for Tara that her parents were meeting with Leanne at lunchtime. Glancing out of the studio window around half three, I spotted Kirsten and Tim leaving The Chocolate Pot. Tara and I had spoken this morning and she’d said she’d call me as soon as she had news so I expected my phone to ring at any moment. Ten minutes later, I hadn’t heard anything and was about to ring her instead but I stopped myself. If the meeting with Leanne had gone well, that would be bad news for Tara and she’d need some time to process that so I wouldn’t push – I’d let her call me when she was ready. But by 4p.m. – a good half hour after seeing her parents leave – I still hadn’t heard from her and was starting to feel concerned. A quick message might be a good idea.
To Tara
Been thinking about you all day. Spotted your parents leaving the café earlier. How did it go? Sendinghugs x
No response.
I didn’t want to push it but, by the time we closed an hour later, I was worried. When I spotted Molly leaving, I dashed outside to catch her.
‘Is Tara okay?’ I asked.
Molly shook her head. ‘She’s got a headache. I think it was coming on all day cos she’s been really quiet and she went upstairs after her parents visited. I haven’t seen her since.’
‘Thanks, Molly. See you later.’
I returned to the gallery and kept half an eye on The Chocolate Pot, wondering if Tara might appear but the lights went off a little later and Maria and Sheila left together.
I whipped out my phone and rang Tara but it went straight to voicemail so I phoned my mum next and asked if she could do me a huge favour and take Aaron to swimming club.
‘Is everything all right?’ she asked.
‘I’m not sure. I think Tara might have had some bad news and I want to spend some time with her.’
‘Aw, I hope that’s not the case. Give her our love.’
I asked Mum to pass her phone to Aaron so I could explain the change of plans to him. Thankfully he didn’t have an issue with it. ‘Nanna hasn’t seen me swimming yet and I know she wants to.’
It struck me that Aaron had fallen straight back into calling my parents Nanna and Gramps and even Piper and Savannah called them that too and I’d thought nothing of it. But thatDadmoniker – only said by him the once – still had me in a swirl.
Tara and I had exchanged keys a few weeks ago in case of emergencies. It was the first time I’d used hers and I felt a little uncomfortable entering The Chocolate Pot without permission,but I considered this an emergency. Locking the front door behind me, I headed up to her flat and knocked lightly on the door but there was no answer. I knocked again, a bit louder, and waited a minute or so before inserting my key.
