‘I’m a great believer in trusting your gut,’ Tara said, and I could have cheered. ‘I think you’ve made the right decision, but…’ She shook her head. ‘Just let me know if you change your mind at any point. Like I said before, I don’t want to be blindsided.’
The subject changed after that. Tara told them about our plans for the first meeting of The Friendship Pod next week and, although she smiled and laughed, there was an undercurrent ofsadness. I could feel it and hoped that Kirsten and Tim were sufficiently attuned to Tara’s feelings to know how much letting Leanne back in would hurt her.
An hour later, Kirsten was looking sleepy and several yawns gave Tara the excuse to say it was time we headed off so her mum could rest.
I’d offered to drive so that Tara could have a couple of glasses of wine over lunch. We waved her parents goodbye and left the village but I pulled over into a layby soon after and turned in my seat.
‘How’re you holding up?’
She shook her head. ‘They’re going to let her back in. I know they will. Either Kirsten will cave or Leanne will find a way to bulldoze her way back in and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.’
‘I could feel you shaking.’
‘I felt sick, Jed. I know she’s their daughter and I know they thought the sun shone out her backside because I felt the same way. I was in awe of my big sister. She was so beautiful and composed and sophisticated and she took me under her wing and I remember thinking how lucky I was to have landed on my feet. I longed to be like her. She was my role model and I loved her so much that I was willing to do anything she said because it surely had to be in my best interests.’
A tear trickled down her cheek and she swiped at it angrily. ‘I’m not going to shed any more tears over her. I refuse to be her victim. I’m a survivor. What she did to me was sick and what she did to my parents was disgusting too and I don’t want them to have anything to do with her again – for their sake as much as mine – but I know they will because my mum’s the kindest woman I know and she goes out of her way to see the good in everyone. I hope Leanne doesn’t shaft them again but I’m convinced she will. She’s the sort of leopardwho doesn’t change its spots – she just covers them with make-up, bats her eyelashes and turns on the charm.’
I leaned across the gear box and hugged her as best as I could. ‘Youarea survivor and, if your parents do let her back in, I’m here beside you every step of the way.’
27
JED
We hadn’t planned on me staying a third night at Tara’s but the conversation with her parents had unsettled her and I didn’t want to leave her on her own. We decided to walk round Little Sandby so I could show her the house her parents were planning to buy then continue on to Great Sandby so I could pick up some more clothes and say hello to Lucy who should have arrived home from the gallery by then.
There were gates across the driveway of Whispering Winds but they weren’t locked so Tara and I snuck inside.
‘I feel like a burglar,’ she said as we skirted round the edge of the drive towards the house. ‘You’re a bad influence, Jed Ferguson.’
I grinned at her. ‘If the police turn up, run for your life and I’ll take the fall.’
‘Aren’t we peeking through the windows?’ she asked as I guided her past the house.
‘Afterwards. I thought you’d like to see the view first. You can’t see the sea from the entrance but you can from the otherside of the garden.’
‘Sea!’ Tara exclaimed with the first glimpse but, as we walked further, she grabbed my arm. ‘Oh, wow!’
It wasn’t just a boring plain sea view – Whispering Winds had been perfectly positioned to take in the sweep of Whitsborough Bay’s two bays separated by the castle standing proudly on the cliff.
‘You can even see the lighthouse from here,’ I said. Tara had a thing for lighthouses, especially red and white striped ones like the Whitsborough Bay one. Her birth mum had often painted them, although always in the dark, a metaphor for her depression, the beam searching out Tara’s dad. Before my first day of trading, Tara had been inside the gallery and I’d noticed she was drawn to a piece I’d created with a lone sheep on a clifftop, buffeted by the wind, looking down at my take on the Bay’s lighthouse. The yellow beam broke through the dark clouds, bringing hope, and the caption read:If you’ve lost your way, I will be your lighthouse.I hadn’t known back then how significant lighthouses were to Tara or why the caption touched her so much but, after seeing her reaction to it, I knew I had to present her with the original.
Tara pressed her fingers to her lips, shaking her head. ‘I’d love to live somewhere with a view of the lighthouse – wouldn’t be able to tear myself away.’
We reluctantly left the view, peeking through the windows as we passed the house, but sunset was approaching and it was too dark to see anything without any lights.
‘You think your parents will be happy here?’ I asked as we left the grounds.
‘It’s perfect for them. They did a major refurb on The Larches – the house they had in Kensington – so they know what they’re letting themselves in for. It’ll be stunning when it’s finished and I’m so excited about them being nearby.’
‘But you wish there wasn’t the shadow of Leanne looming over things,’ I said, hearing the tinge of sadness in her tone.
‘Yes.’
We walked back towards the village centre where I’d parked the car.
‘I’m going to be the Pollyanna of the future,’ she said suddenly. ‘Let’s say they do open their lives up to Leanne again and she lets them down, I’ll be glad for them that they took that final opportunity to eradicate any lingering doubts. And if she does stun us all and has genuinely turned over a new leaf, I’ll be glad for them that they’ve got their daughter back.’
I wrapped my arms around her and gently kissed her. ‘I love it when you’re positive and I’m a huge advocate of positive thinking but it is okay to not be okay with things too.’
