That wasn’t how I’d expected the conversation to start.
‘Do you want an honest answer?’ I asked. ‘By which I mean, will you accept an honest answer without biting my head off?’
She held my gaze and nodded slowly. ‘Go on.’
It was hard to believe that she needed me to spell it out. ‘Firstly, you dragged them off to live with your boyfriend – a man they’d never met and hadn’t even known existed – at a point when they were already reeling from the discovery that you’d been having an affair for years and that Aaron wasn’t my biological son. Secondly, you refused to let me have anything more to do with Aaron which hurt them as well as me. Thirdly, you and Declan made Aaron your whole world and made them feel like they weren’t important at all because they weren’t Declan’s kids. I tried to smooth the waters and reassure them that Aaron was probably getting more attention because discovering his dad wasn’t really his dad was pretty major. But then you had the twins and told our girls that it was okay for them to live with me permanently after all. I couldn’t defend you on that one. It seemed like it was two in, two out.’
Ingrid lowered her eyes. ‘It’s not how it was, but I can see why you’d all think that.’ She looked up again. ‘Is that it?’
‘Not quite. You hardly ever saw them after that and when they told you they wanted to move back to the UK, you didn’t express even the mildest of objections. You didn’t wish them all the best either. There were no emotional goodbyes.There was barely a goodbye at all. And now that you’re here in the same town, you’ve hardly seen them.’
‘Erin’s in Newcastle.’ Her tone was quiet but defensive.
‘Ingrid, she was home for four weeks. You could have seen her several times then or you could have gone to Newcastle since. It’s not that far.’
I paused to give her the opportunity to speak – apologise perhaps – but she merely shrugged so I continued.
‘You didn’t tell them you were coming to Whitsborough Bay until the day before you arrived and then you expected them to drop everything to see you on Christmas Day and got all riled up when they refused. You didn’t tell them you were bringing Aaron and the twins. They discovered Aaron was here when he turned up on my dad’s birthday and they only found out about the twins on Boxing Day. That left them no time to get them any gifts, which they hated, and you capped off an already difficult Boxing Day by tearing a strip off me in front of them. Oh, and then they found out you weren’t going home after the Christmas holidays – but by accident rather than from you. Is it any wonder they’re not speaking to you?’
I expected her to push back, to somehow turn the blame on me, but she seemed to be taking it all in and, if I wasn’t mistaken, there were tears glistening in her eyes.
She sighed heavily and took a deep glug on her wine before topping up the glass.
‘I’m the worst mother in the world,’ she said eventually.
‘I didn’t say that.’
‘You didn’t have to. I’m sorry, Jed. I’m sorry to you and our girls and to Aaron and the twins. I’ve messed up big time.’
Even though she sounded more sorry for herself than for us,sorrywas not a word in Ingrid’s vocabulary and it put me on edge, especially when I’d come here expecting a dressing down.
‘Are you ill?’
‘Cheers, Jed. Do I really look that bad?’
‘You saidsorryand youneverapologise for anything.’
‘Yeah, well, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately. They say you’re meant to be in your prime in your forties so how come I’m days off hitting forty, my kids all hate me and I’m about to rack up my second divorce?’
My stomach lurched. ‘You and Declan are getting divorced?’ But then a wave of anger swept through me. ‘Is that what this is all about? You’re not upset because Erin and Lucy have frozen you out. You’re upset because it’s over with him.’
‘Can’t I be upset about both those things?’
‘You can, but I know you better than that. Go on, then. What happened?’
‘Remember how I said Declan never wanted to get married and have kids?’
‘Vividly, because that’s why you lied to everyone about Aaron.’
She dared to roll her eyes at me, as if to saylet’s not rake over that insignificant little detail again.
‘When Declan found out that Aaron was his, he was just as surprised as I was by his positive reaction. He loved the idea of having a kid and he lavished all his attention on Aaron but he hated how Aaron kept asking for you.’
‘Can you blame him? One minute I was his dad, next minute I wasn’t allowed to have anything to do with him and he had a stranger wanting to play footy with him. Did you really think he’d adjust to that overnight?’
‘It wasn’t easy for Declan either!’ she cried.
It was my turn to roll my eyes but I also verbalised my thoughts. ‘I couldn’t care less what Declan was going through. I could have helped with the transition andwe could have both been in Aaron’s life but, no, he threatened legal action so you’ll forgive me for having no sympathy for him.’
