‘If you’re going to do something, you need to be fully in.’ He looked up and fixed his eyes on mine. ‘No point doing anything half-heartedly.’
I’d have thought that was a very mature thing for someone his age to say except I recognised the phrase as one of Billy’s favourites. That said, butterflies swirled in my stomach as I couldn’t help thinking that was a criticism of me. Thing was, Ihadbeen fully in and it was Ingrid and Declan who’d pushed me out against my will.
‘I agree,’ I said, not breaking eye contact. ‘Training as a chef and working in the café was half-hearted for me and I hated feeling that way. For everything else in my life, I’ve been fully in.Everything.’
I expected him to challenge me on that but he held my gaze for a couple of seconds more before returningto his canvas. Had I managed to get through to him about my part in our separation without having to spell it out? I hoped so. I really couldn’t bear him to believe I’d rejected him. I didn’t want him to think I was capable of something like that but I also didn’t want him to be questioning himself and thinking that it was because I hadn’t loved him, hadn’t wanted him, hadn’t cared.
20
TARA
Maria came down the stairs on Thursday evening, twenty minutes after we’d closed, with her handbag in one hand and several bags of shopping in the other. She paused by the door and raised her hands, looking at me helplessly.
‘I planned that badly. My keys are in the bottom of my bag. Are yours handy?’
I smiled at her predicament and unlocked the door for her. As I opened it, the sound of a woman shouting drew our attention down the street.
‘Do as you’re told or you’ll regret it!’
The woman looked to be in her forties and was right up in the face of another woman, jabbing her on the shoulder.
My stomach lurched when the second woman moved.
‘That’s Zoe!’
I couldn’t hear Zoe’s response but whatever she said elicited a mouthful of foul abuse from the angry woman, drawing stares from passersby. One woman grabbed her young daughter by the hand and ran off towards the main precinct whereas a couple of teenagers evidently found the altercation hilarious and weregiggling as they filmed it on their phones. I was debating as to whether intervening would make things worse for Zoe when the older woman shoved her so hard that she stumbled and fell to the ground.
‘Serves ya right!’ she yelled before running off towards Castle Park.
I ran over the cobbles to help Zoe.
‘Are you okay?’ I asked.
‘I’m fine,’ she snapped but, when she looked up at me, there were tears in her eyes and she looked very pale.
Maria had joined us. ‘Let us at least help you to your feet,’ she said. ‘Oh! You’ve cut your leg.’
Zoe looked down and groaned. ‘She’s put a hole in my leggings. That’s all I need!’
‘I can repair it,’ I said. ‘I’m good with a needle and thread.’
With a sigh, Zoe put out her hands and I noticed her right one was badly scraped. I clasped it, taking care to avoid the worst parts, and Maria and I helped Zoe rise slowly.
‘I’m fine, honestly.’ But as she took a step forward, she winced.
‘You might have sprained your ankle,’ Maria said. ‘Let’s get you into the café, get those scrapes cleaned up and some ice on your ankle.’
Before joining The Chocolate Pot as a waitress, Maria had been a carer at Bay View Care Home so was first-aid qualified. I’d renewed her qualifications and kept them up to date for any incidents with staff and customers. While Maria retrieved the first-aid kit, I tipped some ice into a freezer bag and wrapped it in a tea towel for Zoe’s ankle. Leaving Maria to administer first aid, I made a mug of tea which Zoe accepted gratefully.
‘That’s you all cleaned up,’ Maria said, packing away the first-aid kit. ‘You’ll need to keep that ankle iced for twenty minutes butyou should reapply ice – or a bag of frozen peas – for that length of time every two to three hours. Try not to put weight on it…’
Maria paused as Zoe looked up at her, eyebrows raised. ‘I need to walk back to the hostel.’
‘I can give you a lift,’ I said.
‘Thanks, but I can walk.’
‘I’d urge you not to walk on it,’ Maria said. ‘Final piece of advice is to keep it elevated – pop a pillow or cushion under it. Right, I’ve got to shoot to pick up Sofia from dancing.’
