‘I can see the movement in the originals, hear the sounds of the sea, the swaying of the flowers, the cries of the birds.’
‘Me too,’ I added. ‘I feel like I’m there. I’m glad you didn’t let your ex’s stupid comments stop you from painting.’
‘I did at first but, a couple of years after we split up, I went for a walk through the woods just outside the village. The bluebells were out and looking spectacular and I had this sudden compulsion to paint them.’
At the back of the studio were several rows of canvases of varying sizes propped up against the wall. Anastasia rummaged through them and pulled one out.
‘This was the result.’ She held up the most stunning watercolour showing a carpet of bluebells trailing down to a lake surrounded by trees.
‘Breathtaking,’ I said. ‘This is a real place?’
‘Yes, a mile north of here.’
‘I’ll have to visit. It’s beautiful.’
‘Mum and Dad often took me to those woods when I was a kid,’ Jed said, ‘so I’m way overdue a visit. I’ll take you.’
Jed wanted to rummage through the rows of watercolours and, while Anastasia had no problem with him doing that, she said it felt weird watching him so we left him in the studio and returned to the house for a hot drink.
‘When did you split up with your husband?’ I asked.
‘Seven years gone September. He left me but, looking back at our marriage now, I realise I should have left him long before that. If I’d had any inkling of what he was really like, I’d never have married him in the first place but he was so charming and I was at the point in my life when everyone I knew seemed to be settling down. I wanted the fairy tale too.’
Sensing she wanted to talk, I asked her how she’d met Calvin.
‘On holiday in Ibiza. I was twenty-eight at the time and working at the gallery in London. One of my work colleagues was meant to be going away with her boyfriendbut they’d split up and she was looking for someone to take his place. We didn’t know each other very well but I felt sorry for her so I said I’d go. The first night we were there, she hooked up with this guy and I barely saw her for the rest of the holiday. One day I went on a coach trip on my own and sat next to Calvin. We got talking and spent the rest of the holiday together. Saying goodbye broke my heart and we both promised to make the distance thing work but it wasn’t easy. I missed him like crazy so, in the New Year, I left the job I loved and moved to Whitsborough Bay to be with him. We got married that summer, a year after meeting, and it was all so exciting and romantic until the real Calvin emerged – the man who was controlling, opinionated, misogynistic.’
She paused to take a sip of her tea and my heart went out to her because I could completely relate to marrying a man you believed to be charming and loving only to discover it was a façade and the person behind the mask was someone you wouldn’t touch with a bargepole.
‘Calvin didn’t want me to get a job,’ she said. ‘I was okay with that at first. I’d given my heart and soul to the gallery and it was nice being able to recharge my batteries. The problem was, he worked full time and I was soon bored. His house was dated so I offered to make that my project but he wouldn’t invest in anything more than a few tins of paint. I did what I could but it didn’t take long to paint a few rooms. His garden was overgrown and he’d had a few complaints from the neighbours about it so he gave me a bigger budget to sort that out which is what got me into gardening but, once that was done, I was bored again. I’d dabbled with watercolours in the past but, when I started working at the gallery, I didn’t have time to do them. Now I had all the time in the world so I got back into that and I was really proud of my work… at first.’
‘Until Calvin criticised it?’ I asked.
She nodded. ‘It wasn’t just my paintings. He criticisedeverything– my cooking, my choice of paint colours, what I planted in the garden, what I wore, how I styled my hair, too much make-up, not enough make-up… but he did it in such a clever way that it felt like I was the one making bad decisions rather than him being too fussy. He chipped away at my self-confidence and, of course, I had nobody to turn to. Fiona was busy with her family, my parents were in Cyprus and I hadn’t met anyone in Whitsborough Bay because I didn’t work and didn’t go anywhere. So I was completely isolated.’
‘I’m so sorry you went through all of that. You must have felt so lonely.’ I didn’t really need to clarify that – I recognised it so clearly.
‘Completely and I didn’t know what to do about it. Deep down, I knew Calvin was wrong for me but I was too scared to leave him. How would I find a job when I had a great big gap in my career history? And how would I be able to afford somewhere to live without a job?’
‘What happened?’
‘Unbelievably, he left me. Met someone else to charm, poor woman, and divorced me. I had no choice but to go to Cyprus and scrounge off my parents for a while. They were amazing about it but I hadn’t planned or expected to move back in with them in my thirties. Then my grandad died which was absolutely devastating but that gorgeous man, bless his heart, left me enough money to buy myself this cottage.’
‘What made you return to Whitsborough Bay when you didn’t know anyone here?’
‘I’d fallen in love with the area. I’d spent so much time exploring it and I was able to separate the beautiful setting from the ugliness of my marriage so I decided it was the place for me. Fortunately, Calvin had moved away so therewas no risk of me bumping into him and, without him controlling my life, I returned to work and, eventually, to painting.’
‘Has there been anyone else in your life since Calvin?’
Anastasia shook her head. ‘I went on a few dates after I’d settled back here but they didn’t go well. Calvin had really done a number on me and I wasn’t in the right headspace for seeing anyone. Then, about a year ago, I felt ready to dip my toe in the water again and a colleague set me up with a friend of hers. He was lovely and we did get on well, but he was far too outgoing for me. He loved going out, particularly if it was last minute. He’d spot that there was a band playing and get tickets for that same night and, while I’m in awe of people who can live their lives with such spontaneity, that’s not me. I love going out for walks but, when the evening comes, I’m a homebody. I’m also a creature of habit. I have the same routine each week and I like my life to be straightforward. There must be a man out there who feels the same, but goodness knows where I’d find him so I’m resigned to staying single, which is no bad thing. I’m comfortable in my own company. Does that make sense?’
I smiled at her, relating once more. ‘Perfect sense.’
I’d been comfortable in my own company, but I’d also been lonely and I’d had so many more people with whom to interact than Anastasia had so I could imagine her desire for companionship – even if not romantic – had to be even stronger than mine had been. There must be so many others in the same position – people without family in the area who, for a multitude of reasons, had struggled to find friends. The seeds of an idea were forming in my mind.
The sound of the back door closing indicated Jed’s return. He joined us in the lounge moments later.
‘I’d like to stock some of your paintings,’ he said, smiling at Anastasia.
