‘But if you change your mind at any point down the line – when you’re feeling better, after time passes and the hurt maybe fades a little – I do get it. Obviously Ineverwant to see or speak to her again but I do understand if you do. All I’d ask is for you to keep me in the loop. I don’t want to be blindsided.’
‘Leanne’s burned her bridges,’ Dad said. ‘She can leave as many messages as she wants, but she’s never coming back into our lives.’
He glanced at Mum, presumably seeking her affirmation, but she cast her eyes down as she sipped her drink and it was clear to me how difficult this was for her. Leanne wasn’t even a part of our lives anymore and yet she was still causing pain. Selfishly, I hoped Mum and Dad could stay strong and keep those ties severed – for their sake as much as for mine – but I wasn’t convinced they’d be able to and I needed to prepare myself for the day when they let Leanne, albeit begrudgingly, back in. I meant what I’d said, though. I wanted nothing to do with her.
I’d been invited to Jed’s parents’ house for tea tonight – a final opportunity to gather as a family before everyone did their own thing for New Year. Erin and Zack would be flying out to Portugal tomorrow to spend New Year with Zack’s family and Jed’s parents were heading off on a mystery coach trip with their good friends,Peter and Joyce, who’d been regular customers at The Chocolate Pot for years. I’d never heard of a mystery coach trip before but I liked the idea of getting on board with no idea where you’d end up – just like it had been for me when I’d left London seeking out a new life.
I didn’t need to be there until seven so I had time to cuddle Hercules before showering and changing. We sat on the sofa together and I stroked his long ears back.
‘I think Mum and Dad’ll cave and call Leanne,’ I said. ‘I told them I’ll understand if they do, but understanding isn’t the same as accepting. I don’t know what I’ll do if they make up with her.’
The thought of it made me feel queasy. What she’d done to me could easily have destroyed me and I’d never forgive her for it. I’d been ten and Leanne was seventeen when the Sandersons opened up their home to foster me. From the day I arrived, she acted like the big sister I’d always longed for, telling me how delighted she was to have me there and spending so much time with me butactedwas the key word. It turned out that Leanne hated sharing her home with a succession ofpathetic snivelling orphans. She interpreted it as Mum and Dad thinking she wasn’t enough and had decided to take her escalating feelings of resentment out on me.
On the day I completed my final GCSE exam, I arrived home to find Leanne waiting for me, excited about a congratulations-on-finishing-your-exams gift she’d got me. As she blindfolded me and led me into my bedroom, I expected to find a typically Leanne gift like a handbag or a pair of shoes but what I found was an exceptionally attractive man sitting on my bed.
My experience with the opposite sex had been non-existent. It was difficult to meet boys when attending an all-girls school where I hadn’t made any friends because I was different to the others. Leanne managed to convince me thatI’d never secure myself a boyfriend if I didn’t even know how to kiss and that’s what Isaac was for. She made it all seem so normal and I genuinely thought she had my best interests at heart. Looking back now, there were so many red flags but I was too naïve, too easily led, too captivated by my sister to see any of them so I went along with it. It was only a lesson in kissing, after all. What harm could it do?
Isaac was the first of three ‘playmates’ Leanne introduced me to over the next two and a half years, each taking a role in mylife educationbut never breaking the one vital rule Leanne had set:no sex. Because, unbeknown to me, Leanne was grooming me to become Garth’s wife and that part was reserved for him.
Shuddering at the memories, I pulled Hercules a little closer to me, seeking out comfort from his warm body.
‘I’m not the only one she hurt,’ I said to him. ‘She messed up their lives too.’
Leanne had been the manager of the Chelsea branch of Vanilla Pod where I’d also worked. Three years after I left, a customer caught her sniffing cocaine at work and reported it to the papers, creating a scandal which nearly ruined the chain. When Mum stepped in to manage the branch, she discovered a significant sum of money missing and further delving revealed that, over the years, Leanne had defrauded the company of a significant six-figure sum to help pay for her drugs habit and extravagant lifestyle. When stories also emerged of Leanne bullying staff and regularly being drunk or high at work, my parents realised that tough love was going to be needed so they cut her off with the caveat that they would pay for rehab if and when she was ready to get her life back on track.
And so began a pattern of Leanne going to rehab and being clean for a short time before getting back into drugs, alcohol and bad boyfriends. My parents had described the stints in rehab asLeanne’sannual holiday, saying she treated rehab as though it wassome sort of luxury retreat. Nevertheless, they continued to support her until she turned up a few weeks after Mum’s breast cancer diagnosis, high as a kite, demanding to be taken to the clinic. Dad had said they were off to the hospital and she’d need to wait but, when she persisted with her demands, they told her about the cancer.
‘Can you believe her response?’ I asked Hercules. ‘She told them it was karma for what they’d put her through – by which she meant having foster kids like me in their home – and she hoped it was incurable. I know she was on something but that’s no excuse for saying something so cruel.’
It had been the straw that broke the camel’s back and they cut her off for good at that point. But now she was back and no matter what Mum said about not beingstrong enough to deal with the drama and the manipulation, she was the kindest woman I’d ever known and pushing away her daughter would be breaking her heart. I could just imagine the thoughts in her head –What if she has changed? What if she’s finally clean for good? What if she’s genuinely sorry this time?
The problem was, I knew what Leanne was capable of and Mum and Dad didn’t. They knew that Leanne had set me up with Garth and that the marriage had been one of convenience rather than love, although I’d believed it to be genuine. They also knew about Leanne and Garth’s dubious lifestyle choices. But they knew nothing about the congratulations-on-passing-your-exams gift. Would they feel differently towards Leanne if I told them about Isaac and the others grooming me? But telling them would open up old wounds and I wasn’t sure if I could face it.
7
JED
I turned the sign round toclosedand locked the door to Yorkshire’s Best at five o’clock on New Year’s Eve, waving to Tara as she did the same at The Chocolate Pot opposite. The past hour had been dead and I’d been tempted to close early but there was always a risk of that one customer rushing in at the eleventh hour in desperate need of a last-minute gift, so I’d always stuck to the set opening times at my Sydney gallery and I’d do the same here.
‘Maisie’s messaged,’ Lucy said. ‘They’ve done the food shopping and she says she’ll meet me at the car when I’m finished.’
‘In that case, you can leave early again.’
Lucy officially worked until quarter past to give us time to run the vacuum cleaner round, tidy up and restock after we closed. We’d needed that time before Christmas but trade had dropped off since we’d reopened and the extra fifteen minutes hadn’t been necessary.
Lucy’s smile widened and, with athank you, she disappeared upstairs to retrieve her bag and coat ready for a sleepover at her best friend Maisie’s house. I’d been impressed with how quicklyLucy had settled in at the TEC and made friends and was glad she was spending New Year with one of them.
All my family had exciting plans for seeing the New Year in, with Erin spending it in Portugal with Zack and his family and my parents being away with Peter and Joyce on their mystery coach trip. Mum had texted me shortly after setting off on Friday morning to say that they were heading north and had followed that up with a text in the afternoon revealing their mystery destination as Edinburgh and saying how excited they were to be celebrating Hogmanay.
Doris had joined me at the gallery on Friday, Saturday and today. She’d been such a good girl, content to stay in her bed in my studio rather than follow me each time I was needed downstairs. A long walk before and after work and a stretch of her legs at lunchtime probably helped.
Lucy raced down the stairs with Doris by her side, her overnight bag slung over her shoulder.
‘Have a good night,’ I said, unlocking the door for her. ‘I got you these for tonight.’ I handed her a gift bag with a selection of treats from Charlee’s Chocolates which I’d picked up at lunchtime.
‘Aw, Dad! Thank you. Bye.’ She waved as she hurried along the cobbles to meet Maisie.
‘Just the two of us for now,’ I said to Doris, stroking her head. ‘I’ll finish up in here and then we’ll call for Tara and take you out for a nice long walk. Okay?’
