Kyan had repeated it over and over, but I shut it down. If only I’d been less stubborn, less blinded by my pride. My damned pride and fear.
Briar was nothing like Jennifer, but all that baggage I’d held onto, my distaste for women and their motives, had been because of her, and Briar had suffered the effects.
I pressed my palms into the wall, breaths rasping from my throat.
She’dbeen concerned aboutme.
After everything I’d done to her . . .
When she slid her fingers into my hair, the flashback to being forced into fucking Jennifer slithered into my memories. Flaring up the disgust that lived inside me, but as soon as she asked me howIwas? It burst every bit of the misplaced disdain I’d directed at her.
Jennifer had never asked about my well-being. Much less stopped mid-fucking. Even if my juvenile cock had hurt from the friction. Even when I couldn’t come, and she’d punished me for it. The scars from childhood stuck with me. Once I grew at seventeen, it became harder for her to force me down . . .
I gritted my teeth, shaking my head, and rubbed my palm over my wet face.
Briar didn’t deserve any of our behavior, yet we’d caused her irreparable harm. Her eyes were devoid of any happiness; they held a glaze, as if she’d just given up.
I recognized that look on my own face. I had it every time Jennifer visited me.
A gasp left my lips, the throb in my chest intensifying.
After she’d adopted me at thirteen, I’d expected to leave behind the hell of the Forest Peak orphanage; instead, I was greeted with a different one that Sinclair and Kyan had already been living in.
Pretty—how many times had I had adults say that about me since I was nine?
My hands shook as I raked them through my hair. Too many to count.
Women. It was always women who took a liking to me. Nausea swirled in my stomach.
Kyan was right. I’d put it on Briar when she’d had nothing to do with it, but being around her had brought up every single demon in me . . . because she made me feelweak.
I’d promised myself I’d never allow anyone to hold power over me.
And now it was too late.
The Omega—no,Briar—had me and my twisted, fucked-up heart, which before her, I’d believed had shriveled up into dust.
Chapter 27
Sinclair snored from the mattress he was sprawled out on, arm stretched out and gripping my hand hard. He’d passed out a while ago.
Time blurred like some faraway construct. As I watched him, I thought about everything. What led me to them, how they’d behaved, and how they pushed me away over and over again, despite lust driving us together.
Sinclair had kissed someone—fuck, I didn’t doubt he’d been screwing other women—bile worked its way up my throat. I breathed out slowly before I ended up vomiting all over the bed. Elias and Kyan were no better, but at least Kyan seemed a bit more level-headed and grounded. Now, the other two were . . . something else.
I extricated my hand from Sinclair’s, studying his slumbering features, but there was still a deep furrow between his eyebrows.Opposite of how he was when he was awake, loose and careless. I slid onto the floor, leaning against the wooden bed frame.
His snore hitched and then continued, his hand twitching. Sinclair was an incredibly restless sleeper. It was a shame I wouldn’t find out if it was normal for him.
I tilted my head back, letting it bounce back from the edge of the mattress. It’d been a while since Elias and Kyan had left, and I couldn’t quiet my thoughts.
A bitter, hollow seed had taken root in my stomach, and it grew with each passing minute. Disgust at them and myself. Everything was wrong.
Mom had been right.No Alpha is good.
A thud echoed from down the hall as if emphasizing the point. Were they back? I stayed quiet and listened, but no other sound came.
I’d foolishly allowed myself to soften to Greymont Pack, even after knowing who they were and what they were involved in. That was on me, but I wouldn’t make the same fucking mistake again.
