“You’ve had a long couple days, and I’d feel so much better if I knew you were getting some rest instead of trying to keep up when you don’t have to.”
I work to stay standing, because something deep shifts inside of me at being so thoroughly considered when I've been so starved of anything of the sort for so long that I'd forgotten the feeling. That pang of shame deepens.
Am I a whore for wanting to spread my legs for this man right after losing my baby? Am I reallythatmessed up?
Also, does this man have anyclueof how intense his bright blue gaze is? It's not even the color of his eyes, really, but rather theshapeof his eyes. The set of his brow. It all merges together in one seriously overwhelming feature that I feel like might have the power to tip me over into a straight faint if I'm not careful.
I roll my lips and look away briefly. Not wanting that day to be today.
“I guess I haven’t been treating myself very well, huh?” I concede softly, wrapping my arms around myself, backing up a few paces and turning away. “I think I'll go lay down. Thanks, Dr. Richardson.”
He blinks once at how smoothly I transition back to his professional name, but he stays silent, and for that, I'm grateful.
I grab my phone off the island and make my way to the stairs, but I hear him walking quietly behind me. Placing my hand on the railing, I raise my foot, but I don't even make it up the first step before he swoops me up in his arms. My eyes fly to his as I feel my curves mold to his hard muscles, and I see a little amused grin tip his lips up at the corners.
"Is this okay, Ms. Johnson?" he asks with a hard glint in his eyes.
Him asking me for consent is the sexiest thing ever.
"Yeah…" I answer breathlessly, my eyes flicker back and forth between his when he begins to climb the stairs. I’m completely lost. But funnily enough, I think he's more lost than I am. Our eyes stay locked as he climbs so slowly we're barely moving.
“Sarah?"
"Yeah?" My poor heart.
"It’sAlex,” he rasps.
It's an intimate request, and I feel my breath catch.
I pause, staying silent as he carries me into the same bedroom from last night and lowers me to the sheets. He then covers me up. "Okay.Alex,"I relent.
Clear happiness melts the hard edge to his eyes as they fall to my lips, and for a split second, I swear I can tell he wants to kiss me. But he just pulls away.
"Get some rest," he says hoarsely.
Do I imagine the hint of pain in his voice? I don't think so. Ironically, him pulling his arms away from me hurts more than my body does. Rolling over, I settle down deeper into the covers, forcing myself to relax.
To not miss him next to me.
Chapter nineteen
Arewehos Vs Oreos
Twoandahalfhours later, the sauce is set to a lazy simmer on the stove, and I've made us a mouthwatering side salad with all the fixings to accompany our pasta. I'm anxiously lookingforward to having dinner with Sarah and hope to spend time with her tonight, but I'm exercising patience, letting her get the rest that she so desperately needs.
Whatever's happening between us, it's too fast, and I need to distract myself from it.
My eyes peruse the document in my hand, going over the last client’s file that I'd been proofreading repeatedly, until I'm sure I get their log notes and evaluation correct. I work diligently to put the finishing touches on the document, going over it once more before hitting save and turning my laptop off.
I gave this client a little extra time, considering it was a woman who's in danger of losing her kids to the foster system. I always make sure I pick through every sentence with a fine-tooth comb, getting my wording right, ensuring I'm doing my client justice in case I need to testify in court for them.
Leaning back into my chair, I nab my phone out of my pocket to reply to Johnathan’s text from earlier.
AR: I licked her… as in I bent down and licked some syrup that was on her collarbone.
J. Dawg: Wow man…. I don’t even know what to say about that. Is the pendulum swinging the other way?
AR: NO. It was a momentary lapse in judgment. That’s all.
