I try to send all positive thoughts, not wanting the negativity to infiltrate the baby. My little bumpy.Brittany.
Just a little over a week until my first apartment tour, okay? It’s the week after next, I talk to Bumpy, trying to encourage the both of us. I can't give up on my practice, drop everything and move to my parents’. I try to have faith that it's going to be okay.
It just has to.
Refusing to let him alienate me out of the living room, I curl my legs under me and take a steadying breath. I studiously ignore Brandon’s muttering as he sits at the table and eats the rest of the food that he'djustcomplained about. He's selfish, not leaving me any for my lunch tomorrow. I don't let the lack of consideration bother me, because what is the point?
It's not a new feeling to me, the lack of consideration; I've felt it my whole life.
Different day, same bull.
Chapter six
Until It's Not
Imanagetogetthrough the next day easier than the last at the prospect of seeing Johnathan for a few rounds in the ring after work. We're a half-hour deep into sparring at ourprivate boxing venue, and I relish the workout taking me out of my emotions. The familiarity of my muscles straining makes my head clearer, affording me the time to put some distance between me and my emotions. And because of it, I'm going a little harder on him than usual tonight.
My arm snaps forward lightning fast, making contact with the side of Johnathan’s head.
He grunts. “Motherfucker, what are you trying todo? Knock my brain through my head?” He eyes me as I smoothly slide back into a poised fighting stance, waiting for him to recover and retaliate. He brings a hand to the side of his head and rubs, shaking his head hard.
I bet his ears are fucking ringin'.
I rejoice as sweat slicks down my body, making my shirt stick uncomfortably to my feverish skin. Ignoring the nasty look the big guy is giving me, I pause, ripping my soaked shirt off and throwing it to the side. I slide back into my pose, giving him a wicked grin. This is what he pays me for, so he better buckle up.
“You better be happy I’m holding back. If you were in arealfight, your brains would already be plastered all over the floor,” I grit, stepping forward quickly and swinging a sharp uppercut, happy to see Johnathan move out of the way just in time. He's been a little slow since the birth of his son, understandably.
I blink sweat out of my eyes as we circle slowly, swaying from one foot to the other, gauging each other's weaknesses. Johnathan doesn't have many, but it seems like I do.
Tonight, at least.
Johnathan steps forward fast, and I grunt as his fist connects hard with my ribs, causing me to retaliate with a sharp uppercut. He grunts as I shoot off a couple of quick one-two punches, making the broad, Middle-Eastern man growl in frustration and back up from me. His sharp brown eyes find mine quickly; minenarrow, observing a simmering energy within their depths I need him to let break free for my sake.
But Johnathan always remains in control, the fucker. I know we could really stand ten toes down in this ring if he wanted to; he just won't. His boundaries are perfect, ironically. I'll never tell him this, but he's the mental health field wet dream.
He gives me a rather abrupt once over.“No,"Jonathan rasps, swiping a hand quickly across his brow. "I’m holding back slightly because even though we have this arrangement, it’s to keep me sharp because you’re the best I’ve found at this style of fighting. Not for us to fight to the death.”
He's irritated, and his accent is a bit thicker, causing me to smile. At the thought that an actual fight might make me feel less disconcerted, I lunge forward, trying to further agitate the big guy.
“God, but it would be so much fun to actually fight, though, wouldn’t it?Really let loose?”I smirk, trying to egg him on as I pummel his torso with more punches.
My wrapped fists sting as I make hard contact on the fifth punch to his chest. He grunts, giving me another quick look up and down. “So, you broke up with Veronica, huh?" he says in an accusatory tone. "That's the reason you’re going in so hard tonight?”
His words make me curl my lips and step forward, trying to get him into a headlock. “Yeah, I broke up with her, man. I can’t deal with the disingenousness of it all.”
He makes a disapproving sound, jerking against my hold. We move across the ring as we grapple hard, but my arm stays locked around him. “You didn’t even spend enough time with her to know her. Two evenings out a week for four weeks doesn’tcount, Alex. You can’t know everything about somebody in that short amount of time.” Johnathan barrels us forward with a grunt, sending us both to the floor.
“I didn’t need that much time." I jerk under him as he wraps his hands around my wrist, and almost like he's got the grip from God himself, he manages to loosen my hold. Impressive. Not many have been able to escape a headlock from me. I plant my feet, our strained sounds reach past the ropes, causing a few bystanders to look towards us, but I keep focused, not making it easy on him. I flex my arm hard, seeing every vein standing out against my skin in sharp relief.
"How much fucking time you need, man?" he huffs hard, his face turning red. "Come on!"
"Not that much." My voice comes out strained as I work to keep him right where I want him, but he decides to go ahead and indulge me in what I so desperately need tonight and damn near breaks my arm off to get free. We stumble back from each other, sweat dripping from our faces, and panting. "I can tell almost right off the bat," I say, a rumble starting deep in my chest when he comes at me again and attempts to get me in a restraint. I let him, for no other reason than so he can practice. "And I’m not wasting either of our time. I'm getting older, brother. I don't have the luxury of wasting years getting to know someone.” I make a rough sound, managing to get out from under Johnathan before he dislocates my goddamn shoulder.
We grunt and grapple for a bit, sliding around on the floor of the ring as we display our strength, causing a few others in the building to meander up to the ring to watch. We separate before getting up quickly and sliding into a fighting pose. Back to boxing, not wrestling.
Do I imagine his eyes soften towards me with his next words? I don't know because people don't ever gracemewith softness. I get why…but it still hurts.
“Alexander, you’renotgoing to fall for another Hannah again. You need to give it a chance. Atleaststay with someone long enough to be able to get into the swing of having a healthy sexlife. It’s been like nine years since you’ve been in a long-term relationship, right? Hannah was the last, huh?” Johnathan asks.
