She tugs even more erratically, but the zipper isn't going down.
Honestly, I don't even care right at this moment because she tastes too good to stop.
Lost in the bliss of her mouth, I feel the hair on the back of my neck and arms stand up as I give myself permission to lose myself in the intimacy of this moment. I pull my hand from her ass to cradle the side of her jaw as I kiss her back roughly. It's messy. Hot. Sensual and forbidden all at once. Our lips smack together, and precome drips off the tip of my dick at the nextroll of her hips into me, and God, there's nothing inside me that wants her to stop. But we need to before we cross a line we can't come back from.
She's not ready, but our bodies don't understand. Electricity sizzles between us so strong it's a wonder we're not catching on fire.
I pull away reluctantly and note that she's still trying to jerk the zipper of her dress down. A little line between her brows appears with her frustration, and her cheeks tint red the more she struggles. Wanting to calm her, my hand presses against hers, stilling her movements as I work to look into her eyes. She meets them with a wide-eyed, slightly confused look.
"Sarah," I say in a soft tone. "If you show me your breasts, I won’t be able to stop, sweetness."
I bite the inside of my cheek hard, suddenly wishing I had something to sink my hand into because I can't believe I'm actually saying this. Apparently, neither can she.
Sarah recoils her head slightly, clearly offended. "Wait, what...what do you mean?" she says in a small voice.
My eyes drink her in greedily. Her hair is slightly mussed, and the tip of her nose and cheeks are red; her eyes are wide and shiny with the pupils blown wide, dilated with desire. And eagerness. My gaze roams lower, seeing her breasts slightly heaving as she works to catch her breath. My eyes flit back to hers, seeing hurt begin to override her arousal, and it makes my chest tighten in pain because the last thing I want to do is hurt her.
I have to explain.
Needing her to understand, I wet my lips, speaking hastily, "I can't, Sarah. You're not ready, baby. You're drunk. You still have some bruising on your back... it wouldn't be right. I can't make love to you right now,not like this."
My heart cracks in half as Sarah's bottom lip trembles. "You don't want me..." she whispers with a finality that lets me know she really thinks I don't. Her eyes lower to my chest before welling with tears, and I see a sadness inside her that makes my heart pound uncomfortably.
I make a rough sound. "Look at me,now,"I give her a little shake and wait until her eyes return to mine. "How can you fucking say that to me? You knowdamn wellhow badly I want you. I'vebeenwanting you, Sarah."
She sniffs, and her eyes widen as she furrows her brows. "Then why won't you make me feel good?I just want you to—"
I squeeze my eyes shut for a second, wishing I was a different person. Wishing justfor onceI could let myself sink into her lush body without a care in the world about the repercussions. My eyes snap open.
"Because once I get in I amnotleaving. That's why," I pin her with a hard stare, seeing her eyes widen even further. "And you are not ready for everything that comes along with an intimate sexual connection. I'm not doing that to your psyche; you're too fragile right now." My voice is about as hard as my eyes, yet I don't attempt to soften my approach. She needs to understand. "You mean way too much to me for me to fuck you right now."
"Please, please,Alex, please,"she pleads. A tear travels down her cheek and drips onto the naked upper swell of her breast. To make matters worse for me, she lets out a tiny sob, followed by another. I stand still for a moment, regarding her. My heart tugs painfully, and tears well in my own eyes at the sight of her vulnerabilityandthe feeling of mine, because I want her just as badly, if not more.
I stay silent as I look unwavering into her eyes; they're shiny, full of desire and fear. I know without looking that she sees something similar in my gaze. Slowly, I bend, burying my nose in the crook of her neck where I just breathe her in.
The woman I'm in love with.
"Make love to me," Sarah says again. "I know…I know you want to.Iwant to….The bed's right there!"
She's unrelenting.
I relax out of our hug, and I pull away on a deep inhale. I'm not ready to do that yet. I'm not. Because my fucking spirit needs something deeper than the flesh craves. And because Iknowthis woman, what I need on the inside has got to match what she needs on the inside. I refuse to believe any different.
Placing a hand on her cheek I hold her stare as I begin to walk through the suite, carrying her through the threshold of the bedroom.
"You want me to make love to you?" I ask, my voice hoarse and deep.
"Uh-huh. I do," she whispers, nodding.
"Then take your dress off for me, sweetness." I brush my thumb over her cheek, setting her down onto the carpet and stepping back, giving her a look. Not even trying to hide my hunger. I crave this woman, and everything that comes with her, and she should see exactly how deep this runs for me.
She blinks at me for a second before wetting her lips. A wave of nervousness radiates from her, hitting me with a blast that makes me almost ejaculate in my briefs. Distracting myself, I turn and take my watch off and place it on the nightstand, waiting patiently until she unzips her dress and slides it off.
My eyes drag down her body in a slow, thorough perusal. Fuck. She's nothing but soft, bountiful curves and smooth skin. Her areolas are twin dark shadows beneath the lace of her bra, teasing me. I can tell she's smooth under her panties. That swell in her lower tummy is enough to drive me insane.
She's got a slight smattering of dimples across her hips that I just know I'm going to lose my mind when I sink into her. But not tonight.
I cut the lights off, throwing us into complete darkness. Heart pounding, I round the bed, taking care to go slow as I approach her, pressing myself against her softness, and sinking both hands into her hair. Cradling her head gently with both hands, I look down. We're just close enough to make out each other's eyes in the darkness, but that's it.
