Maybe I can't do anything to take away his suffering, but I can help him forget it for a short period of time—like he's done for me.
Pulling a robe over my nightgown, I head downstairs. The house is eerily quiet, as both Lucia and Rocco had left on a trip, so I have no worries that I'll run into any of them.
Hoping he's left the door unlocked, I turn the knob and push the door open.
With only a couple of lights turned on, the room is almost shrouded in darkness. As I step inside, I can make out the outline of Enzo's body, leaning back in his chair, a bottle of alcohol and an empty glass next to him.
I'm hesitant as I walk toward him. He's staring into space, and he barely acknowledges my presence.
Stopping by his side, I put my hand on his shoulder.
"What do you want, Allegra?" His voice is rough, his eyes looking anywhere but at me. Taking out a pack of cigarettes, he slips one in his mouth, lighting it and inhaling deeply.
"I was worried."
"Worried…" He smiles cruelly, taking three consecutive drags of his cigarette and blowing out a huge cloud of smoke.
"Go to sleep, Allegra. This doesn't concern you."
"Enzo…" I take his face in my hands, forcing him to look at me. "It's okay to grieve, but please don't shut me out," my voice trembling with uncertainty, especially as I see the bleakness in his eyes.
I stroke his cheek tenderly, wanting to show him just how much he means to me.
"You can lean on me," I add, almost unnerved when he doesn't reply.
I take the cigarette from his hand, putting it out in the ashtray on the table.
Enzo is still watching me intently, waiting to see what I do next.
Before I lose my confidence, I lean down and press my lips to his. He's motionless under me, so I try to coax a response out of him. I open my mouth and try to deepen the kiss. The taste of whiskey and cigarettes coats my tongue as I probe deeper, trying to put into this kiss everything I'm feeling, trying to take away his pain with my love.
He's still not responding, and his half-hooded eyes peer at me disinterestedly.
"Tell me how I can make it better," I whisper between kisses, "how I can soothe the pain."
Tilting his head to the side, he says the two words I don't want to hear.
"You can't."
Fitting my body closer to his, I don't give up. I wind my arms around his neck and straddle him, one leg on each side of him. My center is right above his bulge, and I can tell he's not entirely unaffected. Still, he does nothing but watch me, waiting to see what my next move will be. I almost whimper at the contact, feeling him hard under me, but I try to ignore my own growing arousal.
This is all about him.
His white shirt is half unbuttoned at the collar, and I get a glimpse of his chest. Sliding my hands down, I fumble with the other buttons, spreading my palms over his skin.
"You should go, Allegra," his voice is quiet, his eyes unflinching.
I continue to kiss him, my mouth following a trail down his neck, imitating what he'd done to me in the past.
"Let me in," I whisper, nibbling at his ear. "I'm here, Enzo. Let me in."
He still doesn't respond. Like a statue, unmoving, he just watches me with disinterest.
Becoming bolder, I shed my robe, remaining only in my see-through nightgown. For the first time, I detect a trace of interest as his eyes zero in on my nipples. I lean forward, brushing my chest against his, barely able to contain a moan as I feel the slight friction.
"Go," he says through gritted teeth, his body stiff against mine.
"Enzo,amore," I whisper, hurting for him, hurting with him.
