She shakes her head.
"History? Philosophy? I think I even have some plays…" I drift off as I see her stop in front of my Machiavelli collection.
"Why do you have so many of these?"
"Have you read it?" I ask, picking up one of the copies. She nods, coming closer to me to look at the book.
"Then you know what it is about. It's a guide to being a strong ruler."
"Yeah, I know that. I still don't understand your obsession with it." She scrunches up her nose in confusion, and the small gesture is adorable.
"It's to remind myself that power does not belong to the individual, but to the people."
"What do you mean?"
"I may stand to inherit an empire, but I am nothing without the people at thefoundationof this empire.The prince should be on friendly footing with his people," I quote the passage, watching the little wheels inside her head working.
"Like the Leviathan?" she asks, and my mouth pulls up in a secret smile. I hadn't imagined she'd be so versed in political texts, but she always finds novel ways to surprise me.
"No. There's a central difference between Machiavelli and Hobbes. The former advises a strong rulership, but in tandem with the people—never make them hate you if possible. The latter… make them fear you; it doesn't matter if they hate you along the way. Rule with an iron fist."
"I'd think the Hobbesian approach would work better, wouldn't it? If people fear you, then you don't have to worry about them betraying you."
"You're on to something, little tigress. But fear only works to a certain extent. In our world, fear rules everythingbutloyalty. Loyalty is earned through love and respect."
"So you're trying to be a fair ruler, that's what you're saying." She seems to ruminate over this, choosing her words carefully. "I guess I can see how fear would limit your options. But isn't it harder to get people to like you? Fear is easy; it's instinctive. Love? That takes work."
"And because it takes work, the end result is much more satisfying."
"Sometimes I forget I'm dealing with a narcissist. Of course you'd rather have their adoration than fear," she mutters under her breath.
"Itching for a fight, little tigress?"
"Not now." She waves her hand dismissively at me. "Maybelater. Now I just want a good book." She turns her back to me, moving to the other wall to peruse the titles. Eventually, she settles on a Darwin volume and makes herself comfortable in a chair. I keep watching her, wondering if she picked up on the subtle context.
I could have easily ruled her with fear. And there was one pivotal moment where the dynamics of our relationship could have irrevocably changed.
I'd had her sprawled on the bed and naked under me. It would have been so easy to push inside her body, take her innocence, and brand her as mine. I would have been a brute doing it, and while she might not have struggled, she would have hated me afterward.
I don't know if it's because of my history with women, but I couldn't bring myself to do that to her. Not when it would have meant seeing her expression change from mild trepidation to hatred.
Yes, it's difficult to gain someone's love. But I find that I'd rather put in the effort to see her smile at me than bare her teeth.
We spend the rest of the evening in companionable silence, and I sneak a glance at her now and then, hoping to catch her doing the same. But she's entirely immersed in her book. It's like I don't even exist.
In the beginning, I would have categorized it as refreshing, but now it's starting to make me worry. What if she really doesn't find me attractive?
Women and men alike have been all over me since before I even knew what attraction was. More often than not, I found myself in situations where people couldn't take no for an answer. I never thought I'd find someone so immune to me. But then again, I've neverwantedsomeone to find me attractive before.
It's also the first time I find myself thinking what it would be like to let go…
Allegra's fingers caress the edge of the page, her teeth nibbling at her bottom lip in concentration. I watch, transfixed, as she turns the page, her eyes focused on the words.
Sexy. She's so damn sexy.
And that's a problem.
Anyone who'd look at her for the first time would find an unassuming woman with nondescript features. It only takes one interaction with her to see how her entire face lights up in the face of an argument, how the proud jut of her chin shows her silent dignity, or how her eyes sparkle with intelligence.
