"I told you. I don't like to be indebted to anyone. This marriage will ensure your safety."
"Nothing else?" I ask, skeptical. In the short time I've known Enzo, I've come to realize he does nothing without an ulterior motive.
"What else? You took a bullet for me; I took a vow for you." He sheds his jacket, discarding it on the floor before joining me on the bed.
I scramble to move away from him, but he pins me to the spot.
"Where are you running to? We have a wedding night to consummate,cara." His voice holds his usual charm, and I roll my eyes at him.
"You don't want this any more than I do, so let's drop the charade."
"And you know what I want, how?" Raising an eyebrow at me, he catches a stray strand of my hair, tugging until my entire updo collapses, my hair flowing freely down my back.
I turn fully toward him.
"You may be a handsome devil, Enzo Agosti, but you don't fool me," I say, looking into his eyes. His pupils dilate, his unusually light eyes becoming darker. "I can see the emptiness inside you. You put on a mask and keep everyone at arm's length. You flirt, play games, and push the limits, but it's all for show."
"And you're suddenly an expert on me?" All amusement is gone from his voice, and I think I catch the first glimpse of the real Enzo.
"No. I'm not. But I'm an expert on me." I lean into him, our faces inches apart. I'm merely playing his game, and for once it feels good to be the one in control. "And I'm just as empty as you are. That's why I know we can never be. Two voids do not make one whole."
"No," his mouth pulls up slightly, "they make an abyss. Whatdo you say, little tigress? How about we let go? Succumb to a free fall?" His hand is still playing with my hair, his eyes no longer on me.
"No." I shake my head lightly. "Falling is losing. And I don't plan to lose. Never again." For once, I'm going to prove my parents wrong. I'll make the best of these circumstances…somehow.
"Then we're in agreement." He chuckles, his features relaxing, and I realize he had no intention of consummating the marriage.
He doesn't see you as a woman.
A tiny voice inside me just won't shut up. I try to mute it, because it can only mean I'mdisappointedhe doesn't find me attractive. And that's certainly not the case.
He turns on his back, staring at the ceiling.
"We can be partners."
"Partners?" I echo his words, the notion entirely foreign.
"We may not be able to fill the void in each other. But we can make sure it doesn't get bigger."
I lean into the pillow, staring at the same ceiling he seems to find so interesting.
"OK," I agree.
I'll be fine.
As long as my happiness does not depend on him, I'll never have to worry about my mother's words.
And for the first time, maybe I'll be free.
15
ALLEGRA
Looking out the plane window,I can barely believe that I'm about to cross an ocean and head to a city I'd only read about.
After the wedding night, we hadn't lingered. Enzo had presented sheets stained with fake blood, and we'd made ourselves scarce among the shouts of congratulations and other lewd words from the crowd. I hadn't even spoken to my parents, but Enzo had assured me he'd had words with them and they wouldn't be a problem anymore.
But knowing my parents… it's not exactly reassuring.
