I'm left standing there, mouth open, so shocked but so happy I can't even find the right reaction.
My little boy told me he loves me.
I may have missed the other milestones from his childhood, and even though there are still plenty to come, I think I may have experienced the most important one.
He told me he loves me.
I don't even realize as Enzo draws me to his chest, hugging me as I sob, sharing this incredible moment with me.
"That's our boy, little tigress," he whispers in my hair. "We created him together."
"We did," I agree, leaning against him. "Isn't he wonderful?" I sniffle, still crying uncontrollably.
"The best. And you know why?" I shake my head.
"Because he's part of you. And you're the best," he kisses my temple, holding me close as I calm myself.
It's much later when we're alone in bed, spent from lovemaking, that we finally have a discussion that's been on Enzo's mind for a long time.
"I can give it all up, you know," he says as I lie on his chest, his cock still lodged inside of me. "The empire, the business…everything. We can move away and start a new life."
I'm silent for a minute as I digest what he's saying. I know hewould. He's been trying to do that for the last five years. But that doesn't mean that the mafia will givehimup.
"No," I finally speak. "I don't want you to do that, Enzo."
"Why? We'd be safe and away from a life of crime."
"We wouldn't be truly safe, and you know it," I reply.
I've had enough time to come to grips with a lot of things, one of which is the world we live in.
"If there's something I learned in these last few years," I start, slightly worried I might shock him with my changed outlook, "it's that you can't do anything without power. Those with no power aim for more power, and those with power strive to maintain it. We'd always be a steppingstone for people wanting to gain power whether we want it or not."
The sole fact that he's the Agosti heir would make him a target worldwide, not to mention what the Italians would do to him for betraying Cosa Nostra.
"I don't want our children to be powerless, because I've seen exactly how the world treats those who have nothing of value to offer. I want them to be on top, and we can give them that."
"Little tigress, you realize what that means…" he trails off, taking a deep breath. "Luca will have to follow in my footsteps one day."
"He'll have your guidance. And I trust that with you as a role model, he'll turn out to be an upstanding young man."
"You have a lot of trust in me, love."
"Because I know you, Enzo. And family comes first. For me, too, family is always first, and that means recognizing that we won't be better off if we leave the famiglia. We'll never have peace."
"You're right, but I don't want you to sacrifice your values just because of that."
"Enzo," I turn toward him so he can see my eyes and the conviction behind them, "my values died the moment my entire family schemed to have me killed for an extra loaf of bread. I'mnot the same person I was before. I've learned to adapt to this world."
I reach out to caress his face.
"There's a spectrum to morality, dear husband. And I find that I'm OK with being in the gray zone."
"Tigress," he groans, bringing my hand to his lips for a soft kiss. "You're my heart," he says before tugging me closer to him, his mouth on mine. "We'll do it your way. But anytime you want out, I'll have a contingency plan in place. I told you, this time you take the reins."
"Oh, Enzo, I don't think you realize how much I love you," I murmur against his lips.
"I do, little tigress, I do. Because I love you just as much," he wraps his arms around my torso, his cock pulsating to life inside of me, and he proceeds to show me just how much.
