I swear Bastion’s eyes track the movement.
“Well, then, let’s hear it. Maybe I can help or at least help you feel better.”
I sigh. “You can’t help, but you’re right. Maybe I’ll feel better if I talk about it.” I shift to set my mug on the side table.
After I got home this morning, I didn’t even call my parents or Taylor to tell them what happened. I was too embarrassed.
“I lost my job today.” My shoulders slump.
Bastion takes my hands. “Oh, Hattie, I’m so sorry. What happened?” It feels so natural when he runs his thumbs up and down over my skin that I don’t pull away.
“The company was sold, and the new owner decided there was one person too many in finance, so I was laid off.” I cringe.
“That’s no fault of your own. Why do you look ashamed?” He squeezes my hands.
I really didn’t want to dump all this out on our last night, but it’s occupying all my thoughts. “I’m embarrassed. I’m unemployed. I haven’t been unemployed since I was fifteen.”
“I’m sure you’ll find something else. I don’t know you that well, but it’s clear to me that you’re an honest, intelligent woman.”
I look away and slip my hands from his. “I’m sure I can getajob. But I need one that pays well in my own field. I…” Tears wellin my eyes, and I squeeze them shut, trying to stem the tide of anxiety and worry that threatens to overtake me.
Visions of my parents working themselves to the bone well into their seventies accost me. I picture them getting further and further behind on the payments and losing everything they’ve worked so hard for. It only takes one unexpected financial hit to pull people under sometimes. First, it was my dad’s accident, but what if that was only the start of it? Anything could happen that would continue to make them never pay back the medical bills. What if?—
“Breathe, Hattie.”
My eyes snap open. That’s when I realize my chest is tight and I’m breathing far too quickly.
He scrunches down in front of me, meeting my gaze and resting his large hands on my shoulders. “Calm down. Breathe.”
He overexaggerates his breathing for me to follow. I start taking deeper, longer breaths until my chest doesn’t feel as if a band is wrapped around it.
“I’m sorry, that’s never happened before.”
“You don’t need to apologize.” He squeezes my shoulders before he lets his hands drop and goes to sit back in his chair.
“I’m anxious about more than just losing my job. Yes, I need to be able to pay my rent and buy groceries and all that, but I’m more concerned about my parents.”
Bastion’s forehead wrinkles, and he tilts his head.
“I found out last night that they’re behind on their medical bills. They had a large car repair bill, and if they don’t fix my dad’s car,he can’t get to work, so they had no choice but to get it repaired, but now they’re behind. I’m afraid it’s going to snowball, and they’ll just get further and further behind.”
“You already help them out, right? I remember you mentioning that.”
I nod. “But if I’m not employed, I won’t be able to, and that will only make the situation worse. I just feel so helpless right now.”
Bastion looks at me intently, studying my face.
I wipe under my eyes at the tears that are gathered there, poised to fall. “I’m sorry I’m dumping all of this on you. It’s not your problem.”
“Hattie, what can I do to help?”
Shaking my head, I say, “Nothing. There’s nothing you can do.”
He slumps back in his chair.
“Let’s talk about something else. I don’t want our last night to be me blubbering like a baby.” I try to laugh, but it comes out strangled.
Bastion says nothing for a beat. I’ve really blown this. His last impression of me is a crying mess. “What if it’s not our last night together?”
