Carla draws in a big breath and gives her a sad smile. Her eyes veer to Robert, and he scooches forward in the chair as if he’ll take the responsibility to tell Hattie whatever it is, but Carla shakes her head and stares into Hattie’s eyes. “I have kidney disease.”
Hattie’s face drains of all color. “What?” The pain in her voice makes me want to wrap her in a hug. I hate it when she hurts.
Carla looks at Robert again, who has a brave face, then back at Hattie. “We only just found out this week. It’s been a bit of a whirlwind.”
Tears gather in Hattie’s eyes, but she sucks them back. “What does this mean?”
My chest squeezes as I watch her trying to be strong.
“We don’t know yet. I have a doctor’s appointment in a few days, and we’ll get more information then and get the results of some more testing they’ve done. The doctors said I most certainly will have to start dialysis.”
Despite my disdain for her, I feel a tug of sympathy.
Hattie bursts into tears and bolts off the chair. Carla wraps her arms around Hattie and rubs her back. When Hattie pulls back, Carla places her palm on her cheek and runs it down.
My hands wrap around the armrests, white knuckles emerging immediately. I have to look away, sucking in a big breath. When I return my attention to the table, I find Robert watching me.
“Are you going to be okay?” Hattie asks in a small voice that reminds me of a child. That’s when I remember that if Carla doesn’t make it, this will be the second mother she’ll bury.
“I don’t know, sweetie, it depends on what the good Lord’s plan is. But we’re going to do everything in our power to make sure I am. I’m praying, your dad and I both, every night. As soon as we know more, we’ll put me on the church prayer list. The Lord has a plan. We just have to see what it is.” Carla’s voice is soft andgentle, consoling as though she’s not the one with the shit end of the stick.
If I had grown up with this version of Carla, I wonder what kind of man I’d be. Definitely not the one I am today.
“I’ll pray for you too,” Hattie says, and the three of them take comfort in their faith.
I can’t imagine what it’s like to believe that some being greater than you is up there looking out for you. Sure as shit, there was no higher power looking out for me when I was homeless, dirty, and starving.
We sit around the table, and I don’t say much for fear that I may burst and tell Carla who I am and how she ruined my life.
Eventually, Carla says she’s tired, so Hattie and I make our exit, promising to come by the house tomorrow. Hattie doesn’t say anything on the drive over to her apartment while I feign ignorance and ask for directions.
It’s not until we’re through the door of her apartment and I lock it behind us that she bursts into tears.
I pull her in and wrap my arms around her, squeezing her tightly. “I’ve got you. Let it all out.”
And she does. For ten minutes, we hold each other while every tear, every emotion, and every fear pours out.
When she pulls away, she wipes her cheeks, now red and raw. “I can’t go back to Seattle until I know what’s going on with my mom. And even then…”
I smooth the hair on the top of her head and kiss her forehead. “We’ll figure it out. Don’t worry about your job right now, that’s not what’s important.”
No part of me wants her back in Seattle right now anyway. With everything going on, I haven’t had time to reach out to my brother-in-law to get the contacts I need for the Vitale crime family so I can take care of Sean. I’ll worry about it once I know she’ll be back in his vicinity.
“I know you have a business to run, but will you stay in Wisconsin for a bit? At least until my mom has her appointment and we know better what her prognosis is?”
I tuck a strand of her dark hair behind her ear. “I’ll call Steph in the morning and tell her she needs to handle things in my absence.”
“Thank you, Bast. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
I’m not a religious man, but God willing, she’ll never have to find out.
I pull her in and wrap my arms around her, squeezing her tightly.
44
BASTION
Out of respect for Hattie, when her father inquired where I was staying while I was in town, I lied and told him the same hotel I had stayed in all the other times I visited. I knew without Hattie having to tell me that he wouldn’t approve of me staying with her. He doesn’t even know that she lives with me in Seattle.
