“She’s notevercoming back?”
I wasn’t sure how many different times I’d have to break his heart.
“Not ever,” I repeated in a quiet voice.
He went silent as he processed the news, then he slid off the bench and sprinted away.
“Hey, be careful,” I called after him.
“Nina!”
His mournful wail echoed around the house.
I knew exactly where he was heading. I jogged to catch up with him.
“Nina,” he gasped when he got to the door to her room. He burst in and froze when he saw that all traces of her were gone.
The Dodgers cap we’d bought at a game that was usually hanging off the edge of the mirror. The books stacked on the nightstand. The cluster of lotions and potions on the dresser. And it wasn’t just her missing stuff. I wasn’t sure how it had happened, but itwas like the air in the room had already shifted from warm and homey to museum-like.
Noah collapsed onto his knees with a wail.
“Hey, hey,” I ran over to wrap my arms around him, but he swatted me away with his good hand.
“Why did she leave? Was it because I hurt my arm? I didn’t mean to do it—it was an accident,” he said through his sobs.
And here I thought my heart couldn’t fracture any more.
“No! Absolutely not; it had nothing to do with you!” I insisted.
The words didn’t sink in, because he went on, asking, “Is it because I was naughty? Did I eat too much sugar?”
“Ipromiseyou, this was a grown-up decision that had nothing to do with you. Nina still loves you,” I said. Yes, I had said the opposite to her a few hours before, but this was clearly what Noah needed to hear.
Noah dropped his head back and let out a sob that didn’t end. Ariel had found her way to her distressed boy, weaving around him with her ears back. But his distress was so deep that even the kitten couldn’t distract him.
“I want Nina,” he cried.
I let him cry and tried not to be hurt that he kept pushing me away. It was like he could sense that my actions were the reason why Nina was no longer with us.
I wasn’t sure what to do other than let him cry it out. Noah hadn’t had a breakdown like this since…well, since the last one on the ship that Nina had helped him weather. I was on my own this time around, and I was doing a shit job handling it.
Noah lowered himself to his side and curled into a ball on the ground, cradling his broken arm. This level of distress couldn’t be good for him, but I was powerless to help. I couldn’t think of anything to do other than simply be there for him. I moved to sit on the ground beside him to wait out the storm.
I needed to rally. This was our new reality until I could find a replacement for Nina.
Like that was even a remote possibility. She and Noah had been effortless together from the start. My stomach sank as I thought about the warning Nina had given me earlier. Noah wouldn’t have an easy time trusting a new caretaker. Things had been so good lately, but now I had the sense that the two of us were in for a rough road.
I leaned back against the dresser and rested my hand on Noah’s back, which he thankfully allowed. This room felt haunted now, like even if I had my decorator rip out every bit of it, somehow it would still bear the ghost of Nina.
I glanced around the now-depressing space. She’d done an excellent job removing all traces of her stay, but I could see the clothing we’d bought together through the half-open closet door. I’d have someone—notJosie—box it all up and ship it to…well, wherever she ended up.
Something on the corner of the nightstand caught my eye. I squinted at the object. A forgotten hair tie?
Then it hit me: it was the velvet bag that had held the engagement ring I gave her on our private cruise. She’d left it behind. Of course she did…but hadn’t I accused her of wanting to be an Ashford for the wealth and the permanency? She couldhave sold the engagement ring and set herself up in a new condo. Why would she leave it?
Fuck. I shook my head, trying to clear out the doubts already circling. I made the right decision. It didn’t matter that I’d been falling for her;thiswas the inevitable outcome.
Pain.
