Instead of answering, he finally lowered the backpack to the ground and unzipped it, then pulled out a crumpled piece of paper.
He leaned close to me. “Because I want you to stay married to my Daddy!” he whispered. “I’m keeping your driver’s license safe!”
I didn’t have to unfold the document because I knew exactly what he was talking about now. My eyes darted around the room. Just as I’d feared, the eavesdropping kids nearest to us were all open mouthed and locked in.
“Noah, how did you get this?” I asked quietly as I took the certificate from him. I clutched it to my chest.
He shrugged, guilty.
“Did you take something that you weren’t supposed to?”
“I didn’t take it,” he insisted. “I wanted to show it to you!”
Oh, I’d already seen way more than I needed. I grasped his hand and moved with him to a quiet corner of the room, away from little eyes and ears.
“Noah, sweetheart, I’m so happy that you’re so excited about what happened between me and your father. But it’s not something we should discuss with other people around, okay? It’s a family conversation.”
“Wow!” His expression brightened. “You’re myfamilynow?”
Damn it. Bad word choice. I couldn’t feed into the delusion, or it was just going to hurt the sweet boy in the end, especially since he seemed so determined to make it work for us. In all of my training I’d never encountered a scenario quite like this. I didn’t have the tools to work through an explaining-a-drunken-accidental-marriage-to-a-child-in-trauma situation.
“I care about you very, very much, Noah,” I responded, hoping that it was enough for him. “But your father and I?—”
“I know, I know, he said it’s private, and we can only talk about it in our cabin,” Noah interrupted, all business. “You’re doing a test, to see if you like being married to each other. And when you figure it out,thenyou get to have a big party. Right?”
I wish Logan had spoken to me about the explanation he’d given his son. But then again, neither of us ever intended for him tofind out. Logan probably assumed that telling Noah to keep it quiet would work, but I knew better.
Sweet Noah was looking for any sort of stability, and right now I was his port in the storm. It was natural for him to grab onto someone in a maternal role. That drive for safety and security overrode everything else, even directives from his father.
My hands were getting sweaty. Noah had discovered our sham marriage and was now campaigning to make it real.
I needed to find a lifetime redirect, because there was no way he was going to be able to hold onto the secret.
But we were in the final hours of the cruise. Maybe we could squeak by with no one finding out?
“Your dad is right that we need to keep this to ourselves. Okay? Itisprivate, just between the three of us. Does that make sense?”
Even though I was reiterating what Logan had already told him, I hoped hearing it from me would be enough to make it real for him. We couldn’t have him telling the world his billionaire father was hooking up with the hired help.
After all, webothknew how impossible it would be for Logan and me to stay together.
“Yes, I understand,” Noah answered. “I won’t say it to anyone else. I promise!”
He was almost vibrating with excitement. I doubted he’d be able to stick to his resolution.
Fuck. Logan was going to be pissed when he found out.
“Okay, that’s good. Why don’t you get to work and catch up to everyone else?”
I stood up and started to lead him back to the group.
“I’m a good secret keeper,” Noah insisted. “You’ll see.”
I paused. No, that wasn’t the lesson I wanted him to take away from our conversation. Unfortunately, I knew how dangerous it could be when adults asked children to keep secrets.
I stopped to kneel in front of him again.
“Noey, this isn’t a secret, okay? It’s just something we’re keeping between the three of us until we figure everything out. Does that make sense?”
