Walking outside, I grab a broom and begin to clean up the leaves that have fallen into the courtyard. We paved over the yard so we’d get more use out of it a few years ago, and it was one of the best decisions we’ve made.
While the brick is still shiny with a puddle here and there, it won’t affect our plans. Shi and I carry the couch on the back porch down the steps to the courtyard, fill it with pillows, and then hang up the sheet.
We have a projector that will be set up on a table tonight, to end a perfect day.
Loving someone and showing you appreciate their existence doesn’t have to be difficult. Sometimes, it’s keeping them safe that is the real problem.
Chapter
Forty-Two
One month later
CASSIDY
I thinkI may throw up.I’m sitting in the waiting room of a gynecologist's office, trying not to have a panic attack. I’m the one who’s always cool as a cucumber in stressful situations, but I can’t keep it together. Fuck, what if I’m not really pregnant?
Or worse, what if I am?
I’m not sure what I’ll do with the soul crushing happiness if I am. It doesn’t feel real yet.
“Up you go,” Abbott murmurs against the shell of my ear. “Your foot won’t stop bouncing, and we can all feel and smell your anxiety. Come with me.”
Nodding, I stand up and follow Abbott to the stairwell. The gynecologist office is in a separate building from the main hospital, on the third fucking floor. Did I mention that the elevator is also out? Ansel gave Winter a piggyback ride up the stairs, while I was just grateful my ribs don't twinge with every movement anymore.
“Talk to me,” Abbott murmurs, caging my body against the wall for privacy. It’ll also protect me from the door if someone slams it open.
I doubt that’ll happen here, but my mind goes to weird places.
“What if I’m not pregnant,” I say bluntly, gazing into his brown eyes.
“Then we’ll figure it out,” he replies. “You’re borrowing trouble when you haven’t had a period yet, no cramping, nothing to suggest there’s anything amiss. Let yourself just be until we need to make a decision or face a future we wish was different. You’re your own worst enemy, baby. Whatever happens, we’ll figure it out together, okay?”
“Yeah,” I sigh, lifting one arm to loop around his neck.
“Good girl,” he praises, making my cheeks heat and my pussy clench.
My sex drive is coming back with a vengeance and I don’t know how to feel about it.
“Hmmm. That’s something you never have to worry about,” he murmurs, dragging his nose up my throat. “If your pussy is wet and needy, I’ll eat you out until you scream. Anything else, you merely have to ask for. You’re in charge.”
“Am I?” I breathe, biting my lip.
“Oh yeah,” he says, kissing me behind the ear. “If you need to fuck me, I’m yours, baby. I don’t want to push, but I also don’t want to hold you out of arm’s reach. We did that for too long.”
He’s right. Breathing in his amber scent, I smile at how understanding he is. That’s Abbott for you though.
“I think I want to,” I admit. “I need to feel in control, but I don’t want to be set apart. I miss our connection there.”
“Everything was okay when you went to the doctor,” he muses. He drove me in for a follow up to check my vaginal and anal tearing.
“Anal is off the table for another month at least,” I admit. “The doctor cleared me for sex whenever I’m ready for it.”
“Then the ball is in your court,” he says simply.
The door opens slowly, and Shiloh pops his head out.
“Good pep talk?” he asks, smirking. “The nurse just called for you and Winter to go back.”
