Am I suicidal? Not right now. I think my mental health would be worse if I wasn’t pregnant and didn’t have my pack. I have so much support, things to look forward to, and a cunt to kill.
I’m doing better than anyone could possibly expect.
“I’m coming in to wash your hair,” he says, pulling off his shirt.
Sex has been off the table for all of us because of Winter, Bellamy, and my internal injuries. However, we had a very adult discussion about it, so no one would accidentally feel rejected.
With how long the sex ban went, and how much it hurt me, no one wants that to happen again. It became weaponized, even if it wasn’t originally meant to be.
“I was hoping someone would come help,” I admit.
“One of my favorite things is playing with your hair,” Shi says, walking into the shower naked. “Hi.”
Biting my lip, I struggle not to cover up. It’s so odd. I’m not shy about my body, but I haven’t been naked in front of my pack since I’ve been home. I was also too sore to shower for the last two days once I got home.
“Hi,” I say, feeling like I’m about to cry all of a sudden.
“What’s with the lip wobble, Precious?” he asks, hugging me.
I can’t help but sniffle as the tears begin to flow and I shrug. Dammit, why am I crying?
“I don’t know,” I whisper, my hands moving over his skin. “I just got really overwhelmed looking at you. So much has happened, and I just feel gross. It’s like the kind of thing you can’t scrub away.”
Shiloh kisses my temple, shaking his head.
“You could never be gross. Those men who touched you without permission? They’re dead. They’ll never do anything to you again. Want to know a secret?”
“What?” I ask, chuckling through my tears. Knowing Shi, it’ll be unhinged.
“Those guys who hurt you before? They’re dead too. Over the years, they’ve had all kinds of accidents. Carbon monoxide poisoning, house fires when they’re the only one home, there was even a hunting accident. Who the fuck goes hunting alone, in the middle of nowhere? Rookie move,” Shi snorts. “They’re all dead, and there’s nothing to tie it back to either of us.”
“Fuck around and find out, huh?” I ask.
“More like if you hurt my girl, I’ll burn the world down to avenge her,” Shi says humbly.
“It has a nice ring to it,” I admit. “Thank you for doing that.”
“Anything for you. I really wanted to make sure no one would be able to connect it back to us,” he insists again. “Now, you are beautiful. Your body is beautiful, and you used it to save our omegas the only way you knew how. It could have easily been them. They wanted to break our omegas. Do I hate it? Yes. However, I adore you. There’s a difference between those two things, and both are right.”
“Okay,” I sigh. He makes so much sense, it’s just very noisy in my head. His fingers push my chin up until I’m making eye contact with him. “Avery wanted them to see me get raped, and that’s why I alpha barked them to shut their eyes. I didn’t expect to be gagged for as long as I was.”
“You’re not a fortune teller,” he reminds me. “Clara couldn’t reverse it?”
“Nope. Avery made fun of her for it. I would have been amused by it if it hadn’t been for everything else.”
Shi stares into my eyes until he sees whatever it is he’s looking for before lowering his head to brush his lips across mine.
“Our omegas want to go for a walk. Then, we’re getting picked up after lunch and heading toward the warehouse for a little murder,” he says. “We could wait longer…”
“Fuck that,” I snarl. “I am okay delegating anything I can’t do. It’s not like any of you have issues doing my dirty work for me when necessary.”
“This is true,” Shi grins. “Maybe your hair will actually stay clean after I wash it then.”
“We can dream,” I laugh.
Shiloh washes my hair as we chat, and I begin to feel a little better. Sometimes, I need to get out of my head. My anxiety is a lying cunt.
He also helps me wash my body since bending is iffy for me, and he turns off the water as Abbott walks into the bathroom.
