There’s simply a feeling of rightness at having two of my alphas officially bonded with me again.
“I want to be that happy,” Bellamy pouts, watching me as I open my eyes.
“It feels really good,” I admit. “Gimme, Abbott.”
“Yes, ma’am,” he chuckles, handing over his wrist. “I missed you a lot.”
“I missed you too,” I say honestly. “I thought it was going to kill me when she gave me the injection.”
“It’s….oh fuck that’s evil,” Shiloh says. “Hopefully I blew all that shit to hell and back. She didn’t have anything with her but the clothes she was wearing when I blew up that chamber.”
“I have a really bad feeling that she's still alive,” Bellamy admits as I take Abbott’s wrist and bite down.
“I’m going to have Seren tattoo my bites too,” Abbott murmurs happily. “Fuck, there’s my girl.”
The rest of my bond snaps into place, and I shudder as I begin to sob. I felt so empty without this. I need my alphas to feel whole now. All of my life, I needed Bellamy and them.
I was lucky enough to find Bellamy at sixteen, and now my life is complete. My sadness is still there. I know it’s not a cure, but they definitely give me stability. I don’t think I would have survived without Cassidy during everything either.
The universe gives you people, and it’s your responsibility to hold onto them tightly. I swear at that moment that I’ll never let them go.
Not ever again.
Releasing Abbott, I pull in a shuddering gasp.
“Let it out,” he whispers, squeezing my fingers. He doesn’t tell me to suck it up, or that it’ll be okay.
He just gives me the space to feel the shit show of emotions inside of me.
“I’ve been really sick this whole time,” I confess. “I couldn’t stop puking, and outside of when we were detoxing, I’ve always had a really strong stomach. I don’t want to throw up again because I’m too emotional.”
“There’s no such thing as too emotional for what you’ve been through,” he says. “Take nice, deep breaths, baby.”
Nodding, I drop my head back on the pillow as I do that.
“I don’t want to stop though,” I admit.
“I can feel your anxiety about this,” Shiloh says. I can hear his surprise by that, but the truth is that bonds can sometimes be deeper when there’s deep emotions around them.
We all are sharing our relief in being together again, and we don’t want to squander away a second of our time.
“Ansel, switch with us?” Abbot asks, kissing my fingers before standing.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
I can feel through the bond that he’s anxious about this. Bellamy and I aren't anywhere near being at full strength, but I don’t want to wait anymore. I need it.
“You’re the boss,” he says with a weak smile as he moves to take Ansel’s spot.
“Damn, I never thought I’d hear those words,” Ansel teases me as he sits beside me. “Can I chase away your nightmares after this?”
“Is that possible?” I ask. His finger rubs against my wet cheek and he shrugs.
“We won’t know unless we try, and you need rest, Princess. I’ll gladly slay whatever monsters I need to.”
Knowing he’s right, I incline my head in agreement. My stomach flip flops with what feels like anxiety and nausea, and I sigh. There’s no fucking food in there. Just chill out.
“I need you,” I murmur, squeezing the hand holding my face.
