FOUR
A LOOK BACKWARDS
Julia
He doesn’t immediately respond,staring at me long and hard. The longer his silence lasts, the more the pit in my stomach grows. I keep glancing at the hallway behind him and to the left, debating if I have a chance to dodge past and make it to my room. I might be able to do it if I’m quick enough…
We’ve been standing too close for far too long.
If he’s thinking I would sleep with one of his kind to get home, then yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying. The ball in my throat expands when my eyes return to his intense expression, seemingly coming to the same conclusion. The longer he stares, considering my words and their meaning, the harder it becomes to remain still. My fingers twitch in response, finding it difficult to look at him all of the sudden.
I already find him appealing, who knows what would happen if his pheromones got inside me.
He doesn’t want a mate.
He acted as much when he saved me.
Sobering, seeing my chance at convincing him of taking me to an encampment die before it has time to manifest, I release another tired sigh. “I’m going to go back to my room now,” I say, shuffling to the side and toward the hallway. I have a lot to prepare for and little time left to do so. Slipping around his tail, I turn the corner and reach for my door’s handle to open it but just as I do, a large hand clasps my shoulder.
“I will talk to Zaku about you staying.”
I stiffen, peering down at Krellix’s hand on me. “I can’t. I don’t want to—” I turn to say, wondering if he’d heard me at all. But he lifts his hand and is already retreating towards the kitchen and to where a bot is dusting a side table.
I watch him command the machine to retrieve Zaku, clearly dismissing me as I’ve dismissed him, and pressing my lips closed without another word, I step into my room. I shut and lock the door behind me.
Males.
Naga males.
Ugh.
I’ve been dealing with males my whole life. It’s just as frustrating now as it was back home.
I shake off my nerves, let my shirt drop from my face, and sit down on the edge of my bed wishing I hadn’t said anything to Krellix whatsoever. He’s going to try and stop me.
It’s only a matter of time before the Boa makes a move.
Foregoing trying to sleep with Krellix outside my door, I drag my backpack out from under my bed. I pull out my rifle and handgun next.
After checking my supplies and making sure I still have everything I’ll need—including the few items I pilfered from the cache—I push the bag back underneath. Afterwards, I take out the small trinkets I’ve been keeping in the closet; stuff I’ve been working on for the boys. Carved animals and geometric shapes—made out of wood Zaku sometimes collects for me. The kids have few toys, and little around to help educate them. Having so much time to myself outside assisting Daisy, I’ve taken up carving to pass the time.
Sitting down on the floor, I get to work on the dog I’m in the middle of, using it as a distraction in keeping my anxiety at bay as I listen for sounds outside.
At some point, I hear Zaku pass by my door, and heading closer to listen, I then hear the outside door open and close. Peeking out into the dimly lit space beyond, the room is empty of both Zaku and Krellix. Watching them leave through the window, I gently shut my door and relock it when they’re gone.
I spend the night pacing and carving, wondering about them, while checking periodically for the sun.
When the first rays of morning arrive and the sky brightens to a dull gray, a familiar certainty rises within me. I know, somehow, that it’s time to leave. With or without a naga protector, time is of the essence. Intuition tells me I have to forgo finding one, at least for now.
I don’t want anyone making decisions for me anymore.
I set the wooden dog, now finished, on the bedside table, shoulder on my pack, and strap my rifle on. Peering outside my room to gauge the sky and ensure I’m still alone, I see no sign of Zaku or Krellix, inside or outside, and know I hadn’t heard Zaku return during the night.
I step out of my room anyway and quietly head to the kitchen to refill my water bottle. After I’m done, I take a handful of jerky from the cabinet and stuff it in my pack.
I have about an hour until the sun rises. I have to pick my timing just right… Those nagas that hunt by darkness will be settling while those who are out during the day will be waking. If I’m going to sneak out of here and not be caught, it’ll be now.
I can’t wait for Krellix to finish convincing Zaku. If Zaku knows I’m trying to leave and decides he doesn’t want me to, then my situation here could get infinitely worse and more of my freedom could be taken away. Daisy might also get further involved.
