What a nightmare. I’m just happy I was here on Earth rather than stationed onThe Dreadnautduring everything that went down. I had it good when so many others had it much worse… I frown down at Olivia and sigh.
Having traded my jacket for a basic button-up flannel from another survivor, I no longer wear any of my old fatigues. It’s… odd. The military has been my identity for as long as I can recall. I don’t even remember being given a choice before I started basic training when I was five. It was what my parents did, my older brother did, and so it made sense for me to do it too.
Well, not anymore. I knew it six months ago, even if I hadn’t yet mustered the courage to change my fate: I no longer want to be a soldier. I never wanted to be a soldier.
My gaze drifts over Olivia's comatose form again. She’s all but been abandoned by the nurses. Before I arrived, they were only changing out her IV’s once a day, and leaving her in her mess. I had to give her a sponge-bath myself. Gently pushing a strand of hair out of her face, I take in her pale, young features and pray she doesn’t fall further ill. I readjust the plastic blanket over her, tucking it around her slight body.
Tending to Olivia is the only thing I have to hold onto, and the only thing besides intermittent conversation to keep my thoughts distracted. Sitting back on my stool once more, I run my hands up my face and into my hair, threading my fingers through it and pushing it behind me.
It’s been two days since Krellix and I parted ways. Two days.
I try not to rise, try not to pace the small space around Olivia’s cot, but I wind up getting up to my feet anyway. The plastic drapes shift and flutter as I start walking back and forth.
My body, already heated, and clearly in withdrawal from Krellix’s pheromones, has betrayed me.
My thoughts aren’t any better, ignited with fantasies of him while I toss and turn on my own cot at night. So stupid. I knew if I breathed enough of his pheromones in, I would become sick without them. Now, having been parted from him for two days, and with nothing to distract me, all I can do is ruminate andache.
I’m angry at him. And if I ever see him again…
I don’t know if I’d slap him or fuck him. Perhaps both.
Either way, I don’t know how he’s doing, what he’s doing, or where he is. All I know is that I have to get my mind to understand that I’m probably never going to know these things. He ditched me. And it was all because we were both too stubborn to actually talk about it or even try. Yeah, it’s not like Krellix will ever have a place like Zaku’s but I’m sure there are other bunkers like Vruksha’s around, buildings like Zhallaix’s, or caves likeVagan’s. I’m sureIcould build us a shelter, with enough supplies and time.
I don’t need a lot to make me happy. Why would I? I never had a lot to begin with.
“W-water,” Olivia groans.
“Olivia?” I stop at her side, lean over, and place my hand lightly on her shoulder. Her head lolls toward me. “You’re awake! Did you say water? You need water.” I flick my eyes to the opening in the drapes. I wasn’t expecting her to wake from the medically induced coma so soon…
“Yeah...” She slowly peels back her bruise-shadowed eyelids to look at me; I can only guess how exhausted she might be. “Julia? Is that you?” She tries to push her elbow under her and immediately gives up, sinking back into the hard cot.
I touch her shoulder gently. “Don’t move. Not yet at least, I don’t think they were expecting you to wake up yet. Maybe the drugs have worn off. Let me find you some water.” I straighten and head for the opening in the drapes. “I’ll be right back. Don’t… don’t go anywhere.” I duck through the fabric and weave past the other tucked-away cots all shielded in drapes of their own.
The water is stored by the nurses station at the front. I grab an empty cup, but find both the nurse in charge and the large, public water container next to it gone. I frown and head for the open tent flaps, hearing shouting from outside.
A group of people, including the male nurse who’s supposed to be manning the station, have gathered outside the encampment’s large recyclable water containers across the wide dirt path and far to the left of me. Slowly, I move towards them, keeping an eye out for anyone who might stop me. But no one does, everyone around is too busy watching what seems to be a burgeoning fight.
“You can’t hoard it! Who says it’s within your authority to tell me when I’m done drinking or not?” A man spits at one of the four soldiers gathered in front of him. “I have a right to this water. I’m a 10th caste citizen. I pay your wages!” he shouts.
He tries to get to the water basin but one of the soldiers blocks his path to the faucet. “There’s no caste system here,” the soldier says firmly.
Having seen many others collect and refill their personal containers over the past two days, I figure it’s lucky there’s any clean water at all. Though there’s a river nearby, it’s still a long trek without the right equipment and machinery to haul it back here. I assume most of the water available has been collected and re-purified, with intermittent replacements, fromThe Dreadnaut. But now thatThe Dreadnautis gone…
“Remember, this machine only purifies fifty gallons a day,” another soldier starts to add, “it must be rationed for all?—”
“The container is half full!”
“And I’ve seen you back here half a dozen times today filling your bucket,” the first soldier admonishes. “Water wasting is punishable by imprisonment.”
The man rears back, shocked. “Are you threatening me? You? A lowly soldier?—”
The soldier clocks him in the face, slamming the full force of his fist into the man’s nose. The man’s partially-full bucket tumbles from his hands as he crumbles to the ground, unconscious before he hits it. The soldier jumps on him and raises his fist to hit him again.
I dash forward but stop when the other soldiers reach their comrade first and yank him off. One of them, now with his gun out, glares at me and I raise my hands. “Just trying to help.”
“Get the fuck out of here,” he snaps.
I take a step back as the soldiers drag their angry comrade away, leaving the citizen passed out on the ground. The otherbystanders nearby either skirt around him to use the faucet or wander away.
