Owned by the girl, body and soul.
It’s not until I’m pulling her off the wall and rocking her in my arms do I remember.
We didn’t use a condom.
She stiffens, seeming to realize our lapse in judgment at the same time. “Oh, Barry.” Her eyes fill with tears. “I’m so sorry. I—I forgot. I wasn’t thinking straight. I’msorry.”
Okay. Her level of distress catches me off guard. Why does she seem more upset on my behalf, instead of her own? “I’m the one who should be apologizing.”
“No…I think…”
She trails off with a sniff, but I nudge her chin back up. “You think what?”
A beat passes as she studies me, solemnly. “I think maybe I n-needed you to come inside me. I don’t feel as lonely when you do and maybe…subconsciously, I wanted us to forget to put one on,” she whispers. “But I promise I won’t make a problem for you if we…if I…” She shakes her head. “I won’t be a repeat of what happened to your mother.”
I rear back, astonished. “Mymother?Who told you about that?”
“Your grandmother. And I’m glad she told me your mom was left behind pregnant and alone, so I could be extra careful.I know how important it must be to you not to father any unwanted children. Ofcourseyou wouldn’t want to do that.”
“This is why you’ve been so worried about the condom breaking.” As the realization dawns, I find myself utterly relieved to understand her behavior. Her emotions. “Petra, this could never be another situation like my parents had. Because I wouldneverleave you to raise a baby alone. No baby we made would ever be unwanted, either.” I hold her tight, rocking her in my arms. Almost terrified to ask my next question. To hear her answer. “If you end up pregnant, it won’t be so scary, right? I’d support you.”
I’ll marry you. Raise our child with you as my wife. Give you everything under the sun.
If you let me be there. If you let me do more than give financial assistance.
Biting her lip, she nods. “Okay.” She snuggles into me, her fingers trailing down to my stirring cock to trace the purpling tip with a featherlight touch. “I guess since you already came inside me once, it wouldn’t hurt to do it…more. Just for tonight?”
“Oh God,” I groan, my blood going south again. “Yes. We can’t have you feeling lonely, princess. If you need my come, I’ll give you as much as I can make.”
We barely make it back to the room before I’m inside her again, pumping her lights out. But all night long, three words echo on repeat in my head. Just for tonight.
twelve
Petra
Barry makeslove to me all night. Not once do we use protection.
I was taken doggy style on the floor. Railed against the glass picture window that overlooks the courtyard. I’ve had his head between my thighs more times than I can count. We’ve been in missionary, our tongues intwined, his intense eyes holding mine. I’ve had my face shoved into the pillows while being gloriously used like a sex doll from behind. He came on my face in the shower.
Sucked my nipples so thoroughly that they’ll be tender for weeks.
But it wasn’t only physical love. We whispered secrets to each other in the dark. Quizzed each other on our favorite things. Talked about places in the world we want to visit. He confided in me about the roadside bomb that left him with the scars on his face and put him in the hospital for six weeks in an unfamiliar country.
I told him about my sisters. How they can be really mean but ultimately have my back and would help me hide a dead body, if I asked them to.
Barry told me about his cabin.
The hand-carved fireplace mantle and the pond where he smokes a cigar from time to time. I waited for him to ask if I’ll visit. He seemed right on the verge of asking me, but he never did. No, he only wants to meet me in Vegas. At a hotel so we can have sex.
Now…
Now, he’s packing my overnight bag into the rear cab of his truck.
I’m in a daze, wondering if this is real. How…how am I supposed to wake up tomorrow morning without Barry in bed beside me?
We haven’t spoken since we woke up wrapped in each other’s arms.
We packed in silence.
