In the space of five minutes, she’s convinced my family that we’re a happy couple. They really believe I’ve been dating this phenomenal person for a whole year, instead of the truth. That I’ve been living in a cabin in the woods avoiding humans like the plague.
But the fairy tale isn’t really true, is it?
We’re pretending.
I must remember that.
The more time we spend together at the party, however, the more I seem to forget we’re faking. Petra spends another half hour with my grandmother, regaling her with stories about how we met, how we fell in love. I sit and listen like a lovesick idiot, picturing the lies Petra is weaving, as if they really happened. Wishing…they were true.
She’s nineteen.
You’re forgetting she’s nineteen.
And you’re just a job to her. She said exactly that, right before we walked into the party.Get your head out of the clouds.
seven
Petra
A coupleof Barry’s cousins approach our group and attempt to hustle him over to the bar for a “family shot of whiskey.” He resists, clearly not wanting to leave me, but I pat his arm and encourage him to go. Little by little over the course of the night, he’s been loosening up. Smiling more easily. Cracking jokes. I love seeing him like this.
“I’ll stay here with Dolly,” I say. “But when you come back, I demand a dance.”
“You tell him, sweetie!” Dolly shouts, cradling her red wine.
We both watch Barry and his cousins cut through the crowd toward the bar
“Oh, my word, it does my heart a great service to see my boy happy,” Dolly sighs, smiling at me. “You’re obviously a major reason for that.”
“If not the whole reason,” I sniff.
She giggles. “I must say, I was very surprised to see he was dating someone so young. Considering the whole history with his mother.”
“Right,” I murmur, my antenna going up. “Well, like I said, I had to convince him…”
“She was so young when that smarmy, older man swept in and ruined her. Her whole life was ahead of her. Getting pregnant at eighteen was not part of her plan.” Dolly sighs while I struggle to put the pieces together. Barry’s mother got pregnant with him at eighteen? By an older man? “After Barry was born, she could never get back on track and she fell in with the wrong crowd. Drugs took hold of her. And wouldn’t you know, she never heard from Barry’s father ever again. Of course not. All those confessions of love were just to get what he wanted from a poor, unsuspecting girl.”
“Yes, that’s…it’s such a shame…” I manage, meeting Barry’s eyes across the room.
“Anyway, I was just surprised that Barry chose someone so young to settle down with.” Dolly rushes to add, “Although Barry is a standup man. Nothing like that jackass. Excuse my language, dear. It’s the wine.”
I laugh and give Dolly a side hug. “If you can’t get wine drunk at a wedding, where can you get drunk, right?” I tap my nail against her glass. “Are you going to finish that?”
“I don’t think I should!”
“I’ll take it off your hands.”
Dolly hoots as I take a big gulp. Then another.
Frankly, after Dolly’s revelation about Barry’s mother and the circumstances around his birth, a drink is exactly what I need. Is that the reason Barry is so adamant about not having sex with me? He must be so ashamed of himself for what we did in the bathroom.
I really, really don’t want to be something he’s ashamed of.
If he’s determined to be better than the man who got his mother pregnant, I should respect that. I should help him maintain his honor, instead of encouraging him to tarnish it.
With a lump in my throat, I watch Barry skirt through the crowd, back in my direction, his six-foot-six frame dwarfing everyone in his path. When he reaches my side, he eyeballs the red wine in my hand with stern disapproval, but he can’t admonish me in front of his grandmother who believes me to be twenty-three.
I take a dainty sip and purse my lips at him.
