Slate had a strong urge to yell “Over the years? You’renineteen!” but didn’t because that would have been unkind. Instead she said“I’m surprised you noticed anything, with the wonder-engine here.”
“Ah. But you have a very methodical mind, Mistress Slate, and when I asked you about taking measurements, you offered no advice, nor did you demand to double check my figures. And Brenner has said several cutting things to you in the last few hours, and you have not replied in kind.” He put his fingers together. “From this, I deduce that something is preying on your mind. But if it is not something you wish to share, I understand.”
Slate gazed down into her tea.A misogynist practically half my age offering to take my confession. Oh, well, it’s no weirder than anything else…
“I have been, yes.” She set her teacup down. “I suppose…if you’re not afraid that hearing me talk will turn your bowels to water.”
Learned Edmund spread his hands ruefully. “So far it appears to be averyslow process.”
“Mmm.” She laced her hands behind her head and leaned back on the grass. The sky was blue, framed by the yawning ivory mouth of the wonder-engine. Grimehug wiggled around to lay his head across her feet.
“Well…thing is…hmm, where to start.” She frowned up at the clouds. “See, back when I was first sentenced—they got me for treason, by the way—I expected to die. My life was over. It was pretty much just a matter of filling in time before they hung me.
“Then I got this reprieve—except that it wasn’t really a reprieve, I just had to fill in even more time before I died, you know? I still felt like I was walking around dead.”
“That must be hard,” said Learned Edmund gently.He can’t do the voice as well as Caliban,Slate thought wryly,but it still isn’t bad.
“Actually, no.” She ran a hand through her hair, raking outbits of grass. “It felt almost liberating. If you know you’re going to die, you don’t have to be afraid of anything. The worst has already happened. What more can they do to you? So I didn’t have to worry about going to Anuket City, I didn’t have to worry about wandering around with a psychopath and a guilt-wracked paladin and an insufferable priest—”
He made a polite scoffing noise. She flicked a blade of grass at him.
“And then, my horse ran away with me.” Her smile faded. “And I nearly died. And I realized I…really didn’t want to. I’m not done with my life yet.” She frowned up at the sky.
“Living is always hard,” said Learned Edmund.
“Yeah, but most of the living don’t have to go back to Anuket City.”
“Unfinished business there?” the scholar asked.
“Oh, yeah.” Slate pinched the bridge of her nose. “And frankly, Edmund, that scares me half to death.”
“You have done very well, though.” He reached out and patted her on the shoulder, and barely hesitated at all. “Your first act after rediscovering your fear was to charge after friends in danger. That’s not the act of a coward.”
“Oh, well, that.” She flushed. “Didn’t do much, really.”
“Not to hear Caliban tell it.” Learned Edmund considered. “Have you told him of your fears?”
“Caliban?” She sat up, rolling Grimehug off her feet. The gnole squawked. “No, thank you! He already thinks I’m weak, the arrogant sod, hell if I’m rolling over and showinghimmy throat.”
Learned Edmund’s eyebrows went up. “I…hmm.” He steepled his fingers. “I doubt he really thinks you’re weak. But—well, I cansee him saying something unfortunate, yes.” The priest sighed. “He is proud. But he carries an enormous load of guilt for his crimes, and pride is part of what motivates him. And he is so afraid of failing again.”
“Hmmph.” Slate folded her arms. “Well. He did apologize. I’ll give him that.”
Learned Edmund eyed the stubborn set of her jaw and sighed again. “I don’t know. I’m only a scholar, and sometimes not much of one. I sit under the greatest discovery of my life—” he gestured to the wonder-engine, “—and all I can think is that it would be good to sleep in a real bed again. Perhaps we’re all weak.”
Slate unbent enough to smile a little. “You’re not the only one, Learned Edmund. I’d give my hope of heaven for a real bed at this point.”
“Well,” he said, sniffing, “hopefully nothingthatextreme will be required.”
Slate laughed. And then sat up, suddenly, her laughter cutting off. “Oh! Gods! I forgot—can you imagine? Iforgot!”
“Forgot what?” asked Learned Edmund, startled.
“The second team they sent. The journal. The rune caught them.” Learned Edmund stared at her in non-comprehension. “Oh—look—here!”
She dug into her packs and came up holding the map case.
“This is a military case,” said Learned Edmund doubtfully.
