Subject:RE: Exciting sponsorship opportunity! [5/13, 10:18 a.m.]
Ms. Williams,
Thank you for contacting SunGlo Hair Products. We have scaled back our marketing and do not provide sponsorships.
Thank you,
Keely Gehlhausen
VP of Marketing
SunGlo Hair Products INC.
La Jolla, California
Chapter 14
11 days until the Indianapolis 500
In the JJR garage, Leo talked Mack through the buttons and levers that adjusted the balance and weight of the car, tiny changes that made the car minutely faster. On qualification day, those fractions of seconds could make careers or heartbreak. Mack didn’t think he was teaching her anything she didn’t already know, but she was desperate and it was an excuse to spend time with him, so she listened carefully until her yawns grew so frequent that Leo waved her out of the stripped-down practice car tucked into a quiet corner of the garage.
Leo returned her yawn. “You know the tools. You need to have confidence in when you use them.”
Mack wanted to snap that she was pretty damn confident for someone who learned the tools a week ago, but she held her tongue. The little lift to Leo’s lips made her think he knew what she didn’t say. She liked that he wasn’t put off by her prickliness.
Mack hauled herself out of the driver’s seat and arched her back, pulling her arms overhead to stretch the length of her spine. Her back felt both tight and tender, and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d been this physically sore. She knew exhaustion—anyone who’d spent more than twenty-four hours with a toddler understood how truly threadbare a person could feel—but this was a physical drain, a depletion of her body she hadn’t felt for a decade. For the briefestsecond, she wondered how long it would take her muscles to adapt to the unusual angle of driving an IndyCar until she realized it didn’t matter because she wouldn’t be here long enough for her body to get used to anything.
Soon she’d go back to the usual aches of pressure washing bleachers and helping Shaw with fourth grade math homework. The thought of driving home to Haubstadt if she didn’t qualify made her stomach cramp and she jolted upright.
Leo placed a light hand on her back and she turned to face him. Behind him, the wide garage was empty. The oversize fluorescent lights were out in every station but for the small pit practice area where she and Leo were, and the business bullpen, a small loft over the garage, was shut down for the night. When they’d first started going over the in-car tools, there had still been a smattering of JJR crew milling around the garage. She had no idea how long she and Leo had been working.
“Everyone else went home,” Leo confirmed. His voice bounced off the wide-open space of the garage. “Are you okay? Backache?”
His hand still rested lightly between her shoulder blades, a soft and comforting counterpoint to her aching spine. She wanted him to rub gentle circles, to ease the aching muscles of her neck, to turn her around and pull her into his arms. She wanted more, more, more. She rolled her shoulders to remove his touch.
“Sorry,” he said, withdrawing his hand, shoving them both into his pockets. He wore his usual joggers and a soft-looking San Diego Padres sweatshirt, his still-damp hair curling on his shoulders. “I’m sorry,” he said again, softer. He chewed his lip, and Mack realized she’d never seen him look nervous. “I’m sorry about the other night. I’m never impulsive like that. I ... we were ... it was ... You were right. It was a mistake.”
She grabbed her elbows. She’d said the words first, and she’d meant them, but they hurt coming from Leo’s mouth. It had felt so good, even for a false moment, to be wanted.
Leo looked at her with the same intensity he wore before he pulled on his helmet. “I don’t regret anything, Mack. That night was amazing. I think about it when I shouldn’t.” He pulled his lower lip between his teeth. “When you were yelling at me on pit lane I realized how badly I’d put you in a horrible position. I took advantage of you. You’re a rookie, new to the team and IndyCar. I don’t regret you, but I regret what I did to you.” He dropped his gaze to the floor, and his shoulders drooped. “If you don’t want to be on this team with me, I understand.”
She squinted at him in disbelief. “So you want me to go?”
“No!” He was destroying his glossy curls, pulling his fingers through them mercilessly. “I’ll go. I’ll ... try to find a last-minute ride with someone else or ... or I’ll sit this year out.”
Her jaw flopped open.
“You should make a report to Janet. You need to be comfortable here.” He kept his eyes on the floor. She suspected he was trying not to cry.
“What the actual fuck, Leo? You’re not going anywhere. I’m not saying shit to Janet. If anyone was impulsive, it was me. It’s kind of my thing.” She waved her index finger back and forth between them. “You did not take advantage of me or any other stupid shit you’re thinking. Surely you remember how very, very consensual we were?”
He looked up at her. “I remember.”
Mack couldn’t stop herself from reaching out and removing his hands from his poor mangled hair. She laced his fingers with her own and they faced each other, hands intertwined. They were so close she could feel the rise and fall of his breaths under his hoodie. “You are going nowhere, Leo. You are going to win the Indy 500 this year, and you’re going to do it in JJR’s colors. I’m going to qualify and run this damn race and find you at the front. We made a mistake and we both agree it won’t happen again.”
He stared at her for a long time, his eyes bouncing back and forth across her face, from her eyes to her lips, until finally he nodded. Histhumb rubbed over the arc of her own. The empty garage, dark and cavernous around them, felt strangely intimate.
“I’m never reckless,” Leo whispered, his thumb now gliding over the back of her hand.
