Lord Black puts an ear to my father’s mouth and listens intently. He frowns. From somewhere in his sleeve he takes two small dragon pearls. One with iridescent pink scales, which looks a lot like my dragon pearl, and another with jet-black scales. He blows on them. They burst into pink and black flame which arc from his hands like ribbons, dancing across the table and engulfing each dagger in pink and black fire.
Lord Black bows his head. There is none of his usual cheeky humour. ‘He knows we’re here.’
‘He’s conscious?’ Marianne’s voice trembles.
Lord Black nods.
My heart swells. ‘Then we can save him?’ I’ll be able to talk to him, to get to know him.
Out of habit, I search for Tony and meet his gaze. But his eyes don’t reflect any hope at all. Then I remember what I did and how he feels, and drop my gaze.
‘Lord Black?’ I say. But his eyes are like Tony’s. I try again, not caring how desperate I sound. ‘You said it yourself. He’s conscious. He’s still there. You can heal him, can’t you, Lord Black? You healed Tony.’ My voice is reedy.
I look to Marianne, to Mémère, even to Max. Someone must understand, must believe we can help my father come back. But they all look defeated.
Lord Black says, ‘I’ve neutralised the talismans so he’s no longer in pain. But the daggers tether his qi to this world. As soon as we remove them, he will die.’
‘Then don’t remove them,’ I say. ‘We can keep the talismans neutralised until we find a way to heal him.’
‘The daggers are designed to cause pain,’ Lord Black says. ‘You saw what they did to Mémère, who only touched them for a minute or so.’ He gentles his voice. Suddenly I don’t want to hear what he’s going to say. ‘Think about your father. Those daggers have been embedded in him for a century.’
The full extent of his meaning hits me. ‘Then take them out!’ I grab at the daggers and yank. They don’t budge. ‘Help me! Mémère, help me save my father, please!’ I’m crying and screaming, trying to remove the rotted daggers, but they’re stuck fast. ‘I want to talk to him, it doesn’t have to be for long. Please.’
Tony pins my arms to my sides, turns me in his arms and holds me tight. I sob into his chest.
‘But he’s right here,’ I say, words muffled. ‘I blamed him for so long. I just want the chance to say I’m sorry. I didn’t know he was suffering.’
Tony stiffens; and I realise how uncomfortable I must be making him. I back out of his embrace. ‘Sorry,’ I whisper.
Mémère takes my hand, leads me away from my father’s remains. Marianne and Max join us, as does Tony.
‘We came here with the goal of finding your papa,’ Mémère says. ‘We did that. I am proud of you all. House Durand’s motto isperfer et obdura,endure and persist. Papa has been very brave, holding on until we could find him. Now it is our turn to do our most sacred duty: to guard our own from harm.’
I listen as Marianne translates, my heart screaming no even as my head understands it’s the right thing to do.
‘He is tired, your papa. He deserves to rest.’
‘How do you know he wasn’t waiting for us to save him?’ I ask.How can they let him die?
‘Sometimes letting go is the only right choice,’ Tony says. ‘You can’t save everyone, Jing.’
I look at the man I love. The man for whom I willingly gave up everything and everyone I love, just for the chance to save him.I’d do it again, in a heartbeat, even if he never understands why. ‘I can try,’ I say. ‘Even if no one else will.’
Marianne takes my hand. ‘Jing, his mind is fractured. He’s been tethered here beyond his limits. We all love him so much, but forcing him back into his body isn’t loving him. We can save him from suffering only if we let go.’
Mémère, Marianne and Max loved him best. If they can let him go, despite how much it costs them, I have to do the same.
Lord Black squeezes my shoulder with his free hand. ‘Listen to your heart, Lady Jing. It won’t lead you wrong.’
I miss our circular conversations. This time, my nod has only one meaning and there’s no taking it back.
‘I will pull the daggers out,’ Lord Black says. ‘This will free Monsieur de Durand. You will have a short time with him before his qi returns to the Cosmos.’ He meets each of our gazes. ‘Ready?’
We nod. The flames intensify until the daggers glow orange. Lord Black dips his chin and the daggers wink out of existence. ‘Now,’ he says softly, and steps back, giving us room.
Mémère caresses my father’s face, her blood tears dripping through his mist onto the tree roots. Marianne holds his hand, while Max holds the other. Mémère reaches for me and pulls me in front of her. She calls for Tony, too. We stand before what remains of my father.
‘Mon cher Romain, merci pour ma belle petite fille. Elle a du coeur! Elle est loyale, courageuse, et honorable. Je suis tellement fière de toi and d’elle. Et ici je te présente Tony Lee. Le coeur de ta fille. Je veillerai sur eux pour toi. Ne t’inquiète de rien. Repose-toi. Je t’aime, mon fils.’ Blood streams down her cheeks as she intones, ‘Béni soit le coeur qui retourne à la chair dotée par la paix éternelle.’
