She closes her eyes, exhaling long and hard. When she opens then again, she speaks to me slowly, like I’m a child. ‘How do you think Tony felt, seeing you—’
‘It’s part of me! He has to accept th—’ Gigi slaps her hand over my mouth.
‘How do you think Tony felt,’ she repeats, ‘seeing you’ – I protest again but she presses harder to keep me from speaking – ‘suddenly giving him a front-row view of you laughing like you’rehaving the best time of your life, dancing and cosying into a half-naked man’s arms?’
Her words sink through the haze of my rage. Understanding hits with the sudden shock of ice water. It’s my turn to close my eyes, wishing I could go back in time and undo my thoughtlessness.
‘I see you understand now.’ Gigi drops her hand. ‘All the naked cavorting doesn’t help. You need to explain to him what really happened.’
I nod. But my feet won’t move. What if he doesn’t forgive me?
‘Jing, don’t cry. I’ll take you to him.’
Gigi takes my hand and leads me across the bar to a small table by the wall where Marianne sits across from a stony-faced Tony. Marianne stands, stepping away with Gigi, and I slide into her seat, hanging my head in shame.
‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what I was doing,’ I say to the table, unable to meet his eye. ‘It was thoughtless and selfish. Please, forgive me?’
He doesn’t answer for the longest time. I look up to find he’s glaring over my shoulder. That heady scent of singed caramel hits me and my brain screams for me to run. Before I can escape, Olivier positions himself protectively at my side, blocking me in. I want to tell him to go away, but my gaze catches on the puncture wounds on his chest. My face goes hot and I drop my gaze.Tian, I fed from this man.
‘Are you alright? Is this man upsetting you?’ Olivier asks.
‘She’s fine,’ Tony snarls through clenched teeth.
Olivier ignores him. ‘Lady Jing, are you alright?’
‘I’m fine,’ I mumble to the table.
‘Are you sure? Look at me please and tell me you’re okay.’ He tries to lift my chin.
Tony grabs his wrist, yanks Olivier so he’s nose to nose. ‘Get your hands off her.’
I don’t dare say anything lest Tony misconstrue my meaning, so I whisper to the table, hoping she’ll hear, ‘Marianne, I need your help!’
Almost immediately, Marianne appears behind Tony. ‘Olivier! Mémère would love to hear about your recent travels.’
‘But – Lady Jing,’ Olivier persists.
I mumble, ‘I’m feeling a bit dizzy, that’s all. Abundant gratitude for your concern.’ And then I drop my forehead to the table and keep it there until he leaves.
‘He’s gone.’ Tony’s voice is flat, devoid of emotion.
I search his face for a flicker of understanding, but find none. The purple smudges under his eyes have bloomed into bruises.
Only once before have I experienced Tony’s anger. When I lied to him. While his words were harsh, there was a softness in his gaze. His forgiveness was quick. But now, his gaze is cold and distant.
Fear pinches my throat, makes my words clumsy. ‘It’s not what you think.’ Afraid he might leave, I hurry to explain. ‘Mémère said I should try to feed from one of the pursuivants and found Olivier for me.’
‘Feeding is one thing but you were out there—’ His lips flatten. Anger twists his handsome face until he is unrecognisable. ‘Out there rubbing against another man. You want someone new, is that it?’
I flinch at the hard tone, the ugly accusation, so unlike Tony.
‘That’s not true.’ My voice is little more than a croak.
Though his expression is still scary, he doesn’t say anything else, so I keep talking. I have to make him understand. ‘I admit I find his blood intoxicating, but only his blood. It’s like being drunk and smelling a favourite food you haven’t had in a longtime. You know how blood rush affects me. With the added intoxication from absinthe, I lost control.’
‘You wanted to bed him.’ He hurls the words like venom-tipped daggers. I’m too stunned to say anything.
Marianne strides over to us. ‘???,????.’Words once spoken cannot be unsaid.
