Her nostrils flare delicately. I smile widely because I know she is itching to hurt me, but with Big Wang by my side, she doesn’t dare. I decide then and there my goal is to get her to stamp her foot. Her frustration brings me so much joy.
She crosses her arms and taps her imperial jade nail guard against the thick cream and crimson jade bangle on her wrist. ‘I see you are as impudent as ever. Wang, you ought to educate her better.’
Big Wang grunts.
I hold onto my mahjong face so as not to give Niang Niang any ammunition, but my metaphorical eyebrow goes up. Way up, past my hairline. With any other minister, Big Wang would make up some piss-fart platitude to apologise for my rudeness, especially as she’s my elder. But a grunt? I hadn’t appreciated until now just how much Big Wang dislikes my grandmother. My heart swells with fondness.
Niang Niang is not insensible to the insult. ‘A tiger does not birth dogs,’ she says.
‘Meow,’ I say, swiping the air with pretend claws.
Big Wang flashes red pupils my way. Oops, took it a little too far. I mouthContain my apologies.
‘To the matter at hand,’ he says. ‘Venerable Matriarch, we need to agree on a minister to accompany Lord Aengus back to Inis Fáil and ensure he arrives safely.’
Niang Niang waves a dismissive hand. ‘Send your mongrel.’
There’s a slight pause. Big Wang levels a cold gaze at my grandmother. ‘Venerable Matriarch,Lady Jingis not a Minister of the Hulijing Court.’
Though I’m careful to keep my expression blank, inside I stand a little taller at Big Wang taking my side. The hulijing created this mafan and they should be the ones to fix it.
Ignoring Big Wang, she sneers at Lord Aengus. ‘Are foreigners all that ugly?’
Lord Aengus blinks. Hurt crosses his face before he can hide it. That pang of concern hits me again. I twitch my shoulder, not liking this tender side that seems to grow like unwanted mould.
‘Venerable Matriarch, mind your words,’ Big Wang says, voice low with warning. ‘Lord Aengus is fluent in the language of Tian. What’s more, the Tuatha Dé are Treaty members. Any insult would require the Hulijing Court to make reparations.’ Big Wang leans forward. ‘Can you afford that? Your court is still paying reparations to the Jade Emperor and the Ministry of Hell for your most recent breaches of the Treaty of Mount Kunlun.’
‘No need to lecture me, Wang.’ Niang Niang’s lips curl into a vicious smile and she offers Lord Aengus a desultory bow. ‘Contain my outburst, Lord Aengus. I am too direct.’
Lady Min pipes up. ‘Venerable Matriarch, Brother— I mean, Lord Aengus is a favourite of Queen Mother of the West. She came specially to give him a gourdful of her elixir!’
At the mention of Queen Mother of the West, Niang Niang’s demeanour changes; the malicious glint is gone, replaced with an anxious hopefulness. It’s like she’s stepped out of her skin and donned a new face. It’s off-putting.
I know what’s behind her eager-to-please persona. Old Zao once told me that every Spring Festival, Queen Mother of the West used to gift Niang Niang large jars of royal jelly and propolis made by the bees in her immortality peach grove, and at least once a year invited Niang Niang to her home in MountKunlun. But, not long after I moved to yin Shanghai, the gifts and invitations stopped. Niang Niang pleaded and cajoled for an explanation, but couldn’t even elicit a response. After decades of trying, Queen Mother of the West finally began responding to her letters. But last year, Niang Niang attacked Tony, not knowing Queen Mother of the West had blessed him with her protection, and the communication stopped again.
‘Her elixir? The one with immortality peach resin?’ Niang Niang’s voice has taken on a girly breathlessness. It makes me want to gag.
‘Thespecialone, with immortality peach resin and royal jellyandpropolis from her apiary!’ Lady Min says.
Niang Niang pats her hair, straightens her robe. ‘Why didn’t you say sooner! Is she still here? I must find her, pay my respects.’
And try to wheedle a pot of Queen Mother of the West’s special elixir, no doubt. My grandmother is nothing if not shameless.
She stares at Lord Aengus with a calculating intensity. ‘Since Lord Aengus is a favourite of hers, perhaps I should accompany him myself to the Tuatha Dé Pantheon.’
Putting Lord Aengus at the mercy of my sadistic grandmother is a terrible idea. Big Wang catches my eye and gives a look that saysStop talking. I smile sweetly.No rotted way.
‘Make sure you take care, Grandmother,’ I say. ‘Long-distance travel is so tiring. It’s very hard on the skin, and we know how much you hate wrinkles.’
She stiffens, a hand on her cheek before she can stop herself. I almost laugh. But instead of insisting her ministers take her place, she says, ‘I’m sure I’ll have enough sustenance to keep me fresh.’ Her expression takes on a predatory glint. ‘Lord Aengus, is it?’
Lord Aengus holds her gaze, but he seems to shrink into himself. I can scent his fear, but he doesn’t look to us for help. It occurs to me he has no one here he truly trusts, and it ignites a blaze of pity, anger, and self-righteousness.
Big Wang and I speak at the same time. ‘We—’ he starts. But the higher pitch of my voice easily drowns out his low rumble. My words ring through the room: ‘I’ll deliver Lord Aengus.’
‘You will?’ Lord Aengus says.
I stare at him, mentally replaying my words. Big Wang frowns. I stand very still, panicking.Why is it when I’m reminded of my pathetic past self, my mouth runs off without my brain? I really need to remember to count to ten before I speak.
