No, she wouldn’t violate his privacy like that. He might not have known her as long as he had Sierra before she’d betrayed him. Bristol wasn’t a fame monger. She knew what being used felt like.
“I get that now,” he assured. “At first, I wasn’t sure, and what I did know of you… I really wasn’t sure whether you wanted revenge sex so you’d have something to shove in Hayden’s face or if you actually liked me.”
Her expression softened for a moment, and Jesse hoped that meant he was reaching her. “I do like you.” Then she toughened up again. “Or I did. If you thought I was only using you, why did you come home with me?”
“Honestly? I wanted you too much to pass you up. I meet a lot of women…”
That full mouth of hers pinched and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Of course you do. You’d said that. Now I understand.”
And Bristol’s expression said that she felt stupid. When she closed her eyes as if castigating herself, Jesse couldn’t stand there and not touch her.
He closed the distance between them and crushed her against his body. When she struggled to break free, he held her tighter. Maybe he shouldn’t, but once upon a time, he’d let Kimber go. Since her, he’d never fought to keep any woman. But here he was, willing to fight her for them. And since no man had seemingly ever gone to battle for her, Jesse was damn glad to be first.
He set his lips against her ear. “Please let me hold you. What I’m trying to say is that I knew you were different immediately, and I liked you so much that I couldn’t walk away. I’ve spent a decade with people who didn’t mean a goddamn thing to me. You’re different. But I had to know you before I could risk telling you who I am.”
She didn’t say a word for the longest time. But he could see the wheels turning in her head, examining the situation. He thanked God she was too polite not to listen and too logical for his rationale to escape her.
“I hear what you’re saying,” she said finally. “In your shoes, I probably wouldn’t have told me, either. I shouldn’t be upset that you had to protect yourself from a near stranger because you didn’t know if I would sell you out. But that doesn’t make being lied to hurt less.”
Jesse felt guilty for not believing in her sooner and coming clean, but grateful she understood, at least on some level. “Hurting you was never my intention, and I’m sorry for that. But I think you also never expected to care about me.” He curled a finger under her chin, but she resisted meeting his gaze. “Are you this upset because you do?”
Her eyes widened to big green pools of confusion and contrition. More tears shimmered, threatening to spill. “I swore off relationships. I’m bad with romance.”
“You’re bad…or you’ve tried it with the wrong people? I’ve made the same mistake.” He took a deep breath, diving headfirst into the already deep conversation. “I’m going to lay out the honest-to-God truth. I’ve never felt this way with any other woman.”
She shot him a scathing, skeptical stare. “You don’t have to lie. Just let me down easy.”
“I don’t want to let you down at all.” He anchored his hands in her hair and clenched his fists. “If you were anyone else, after the sex I would have already shrugged and walked away. With you, I can’t.”
“So you’re saying all those celebrities and groupies you’ve screwed don’t hold a candle to me? Right…”
Her sarcasm bit, and he tugged on her hair. “They didn’t. Everything about you makes sense to me. And let me tell you, nothing in my life has made sense in a long time—especially not relationships. You’re pretty without artifice, kind even to the people who have wronged you, smart, ambitious. And you’re refreshingly not narcissistic or mercenary. You admitted that we click.”
Agreement crossed Bristol’s face, though she didn’t say it aloud. “So?”
“I’m going to ask again, are you this upset because you didn’t want to care about me? Or because it shocks you that you do?”
She pulled away from him with a huff, her little fists clenching. “Why can’t I be normal? The rest of the free world can find someone and hook up for a day or two without getting involved emotionally. The first time I try, what happens? Yeah, I wind up being all giddy and excited. You walk in the room and something in my stomach flutters. I can barely wait to touch you. Or even talk to you. I have to remind myself not to fall in love. And now I’m making an idiot out of myself with one of the most famous people on the planet.” She shook her head. “I was already aiming high with the prince of Lafayette County because he was nice to me once upon a time and?—”
“Don’t beat yourself up about Hayden. He’s the deficient one. He broke up with you to be with your sister because he can’t equal you in intellect, ambition, or character. He found someone more his speed. If he’d stayed much longer, you would have realized he didn’t suit you, honey.”
She shrugged. “Maybe.”
“No, totally. He left you before you could beat him to it. He probably felt outdone by you. But don’t for one second think that small-town prick split because you weren’t good enough for him, so therefore you’re nowhere near enough for me. It’s bullshit, and I’ll argue that point with you all day long if I have to.”
“Hayden doesn’t matter anymore.”
“He doesn’t, but we do. And I’m sorry I wasn’t on the up-and-up, but you know why. I’m not letting you go over this crap.” He shrugged as if his mind were made up. “I’m seriously not.”
She took a shuddering breath, tears still threatening to spill. “How did I come in to confront you about lying to me and wind up feeling like the dysfunctional head case?”
Leave it to Bristol to make him laugh at a time like this. If she could tell even a sideswiping sort of joke, then he must have said something that reached her. “Well, I usually feel like a dysfunctional head case, and I didn’t want to be alone.”
She gave him a watery if reluctant grin. “You suck.”
“Not yet, but if you lose the clothes, I’ll be happy to find some part of you I can get my mouth on.”
With a playful swat on the shoulder, she sniffled. “I’m sorry.”
