‘I-I tried. The dead…something is missing. The…devastation I cause. I can’t face it, Glesni. I can’t. I only need to last long enough to help him,’ I said, standing straighter and halting my shuddering breaths. ‘To help all of you. I’ve lasted longer than anyone would have given me credit for. Don’t write me off yet.’
I clung to Pab, tighter than usual, and stormed away. As I slammed the door, she muttered under her breath.
‘Stupid, stubborn girl.’
CHAPTER 26
At the Sisters of Evella monasteries, our novices come to us for a myriad of reasons – bound together through a sense of duty. Many are Anomalies wishing to repay Evella for her blessing by helping those in need.
— SISTER AGNAITIA IX, PIOUS MOTHER OF THE FIRST HOLY ORDER OF EVELLA
With trembling fingers I pinched the bridge of my nose. I cracked open dry eyes, blinking at the blurry words swimming across yellowing pages. I leaned back, sighing at the state of the library. The boarded-up window. Vacant spaces where the tables and chairs Glesni had used as incredibly successful weapons had once sat. Glancing at the hazy piles of books and maps, I groaned. Even with help, the amount of research and information we faced was staggering.
And right now, even the glasses were failing me.
I’d gathered the books, found the relevant sections of the treaty, deciding the immediate threat from The Alliance took precedence. It was imperative to halt the fading remnants ofThe Alliance from splitting apart and tearing Matthias’s throne from him. But I’d also been so tantalisingly close to finding the Vyrium stores. The patterns were there. I needed time to collate it all, pinpoint exactly where we could mine before Romero found it first.
If only Evella had gifted me time instead of the ability to raise deranged corpses.
At least I no longer spent my mornings training with Glesni. A spike of guilt ran through me, and I rubbed my palm with my thumb. She must be lonely, but I was able to harness my gift so much better. I practised daily; moths (forgetting how scared Ifan was and trying not to laugh at the high-pitched scream he’d uttered) mice, dogs, horses, and none had run from me. The thread of each creature connected with increasing ease. If anyone questioned why I no longer visited the old woman, there would be no need to wonder. As far as they knew, I’d mastered the gift. I was an Anomaly. I prayed to Evella that Glesni would keep my other gift secret.
I rubbed my eyes. ‘Gods, I’m totally fucked,’ I muttered under my breath.
Raised voices from the hallway caught my attention.
‘If you’re after my position, prince, tell me.’ There was an unusually dark undercurrent to Asher’s tone.
‘Perhaps if you spent more of your time preventing rebel attacks than mooning over a princess you’ve no intention of being with, then I wouldn’t have to speak to the king over this.’
I pretended to focus on the text before me, placing a settling hand on Pablo’s head as a low growl rumbled through him. Ifan prowled about the corridors, apparently with a worse headache than I, but was he truly blaming Asher for the attack?
‘We lost four guards, an Anomaly and suffered damage to our palace and reputation,’ Ifan spat. ‘Something we can ill afford.’
The two figures entered the seemingly empty library, and Pab snarled. His muscles taut under my fingers as he set his amber eyes on the prince and captain.
‘Shh,’ I whispered. ‘I want to see where this goes.’
‘I don’t shirk responsibility for the attack; it came out of the blue. I offered Matthias my resignation and he refused.’
Ifan barked a dark laugh. ‘Am I supposed to be surprised the insufferable martyr refused? With him on the throne and your hand controlling the guards, we may as well lie down and give Romero our lands right now.’
An ember of rage flared within. Yes, Matthias took too much on himself, but he did everything he could to be a good king, to help his people.
‘Do you speak to your king this way, Ifan?’ The hazy figure of Asher stood taller. I wondered if Matthias had any clue as to how his brother viewed him. It would be another cut in his already damaged heart. During those dark nights, when he’d whispered his worries, he’d told me of the guilt he carried about the twin exiled to harsh Carush. Ifan, so young, so scared, had been sent across the sea, ripped from his twin.
I worried my lip. No wonder Ifan was always so angry.
‘Why?’ Ifan scoffed. ‘Even if he knew, he’d add it to the millstones around his already struggling neck. He’s like our father, painfully noble. Drowning in his self-destructive ability to take everything on his own cracking shoulders. Asmar will fall under his rule. Within the next year we’ll have nothing left because of you two.’
Pablo snarled and stood, his paws pacing as he kept his eyes locked on them. Their faces turned in our direction.
‘Great work, wolf,’ I said, letting out a sigh as Ifan strode from the library and Asher approached. ‘Really great.’
A thin smile lay on the captain’s taut face.
‘How’s the research going?’ he asked, grabbing the book and flipping it towards him, a look of disgust crossing his features as he took in the dull prose.
Cricking my neck, I turned it back to me as Pablo nuzzled Asher’s fingers. ‘Painfully slowly.’
