‘I knew you’d do it, Sorrow.’ He lay his forehead softly next to mine, and I closed my eyes. ‘I knew you’d beat this blight.’
His arm snaked around my waist as he tucked me in against his chest. For a moment, all that existed was the boy I adored, the pulsing of his heart against my cheek as I reached around his back. Matthias grasped me tighter, and I melted into him, into his firm warmth.
‘My wonderful Sorrow.’ I shivered as his breath whispered against my face, breathing in his scent. My heart swelled with each inhale, with how right it felt to hold my husband.
The husband in name only, I recalled. Exhaling, I stepped back, though Matthias held on for a heartbeat too long, one hand still cradling my cheek.
As one thumb slowly rubbed against me, I glanced at his lips, wondering what they’d feel like on mine. Would he kiss me slowly, savouring every touch or would he devour me? A shiver ran through me, and his eyes opened, meeting my gaze.
Would it truly be so bad to give in to this? Give in to him. My body demanded I close the distance, warring with reason that pleaded with me to break it.
I prised myself away, heading for the maps. My fingers trembled as I put on the borrowed glasses and studied the charred segments without truly seeing their contents.
A cough from the doorway grabbed my attention. I knew it was Skye from the dress. She was standing, arms crossed, and I was grateful I couldn’t see the smug look I knew she’d be wearing.
‘I really should apologise,’ she said, her voice scratching, as I focused on the words stubbornly refusing to form on the map. ‘I was clearly very, very wrong. I’d say you certainly win this argument, Sorrow.’
I bit my bottom lip, refusing to look up.
CHAPTER 19
Regardless of your feelings for her, regardless of her position within the royal family, you must be aware youcannot failto produce an heir. Your first breath coincided with your mother’s last. Skye (or whatever name she’s chosen these days) cannot physically provide the heir we require to ensure our titles, deeds and lands remain with our family. So my answer is quite simply, no.
— LETTERS FROM LORD JAMES ROSSING TO HIS ONLY CHILD, CAPTAINASHERROSSING
A blush spread up my bare shoulders as Matthias tugged at his dark navy tie, his eyes locked on mine in the gilded mirror.
‘Now, please don’t forget, this is a formal dinner. Many dignitaries will be dining with you this evening. Lord Rossing and his son, Captain Asher. The Duke Lommond who’ – Matthias’s secretary sighed deeply – ‘may I remind you, will be reporting back to KingRomero. Thepairof you need to act with decorum, diplomacy.’ Francis grimaced, straightening Matthias’s crooked tie. ‘Dignity.’
I rolled my eyes. ‘We’re truly fucked then,’ I said, earning a warm chuckle from Matthias as I took a last warped look in the gilded mirror.
Francis rounded on me, his thin lips pursed together as he peered at me through his round glasses. Although he was at least a head shorter than myself, the man was fierce and obviously held a lot of affection for Matthias.
‘Thatis the sort of language you must not use, Your Highness.’
I sighed. ‘Sorrow,’ I replied for what must have been the hundredth time.
He scowled, shaking his bald head, his jowls wobbling.
‘Not this evening, you’re not,Your Highness.’ He admired the scarlet and gold satin gown Skye had selected for me. Begrudgingly, for once, I agreed with her. I ran my hands down the strapless fitted scarlet bodice, hesitating over the diagonal splash of glimmering gold. The dress flared slightly from the hips, which was rather fortunate. If the skirt had been as tight as the bodice, I’d be shuffling around as regal as an injured duck. I smiled at my reflection. My dark brown hair lay over my shoulder in an elegant fishtail braid. A maid had fussed over me, delicately inlaying actual rubies and flecks of gold within the strands of my glossy hair. A simple gold chain with a single ruby lay above my breasts. Raising a brow at my reflection I decided I might allow Skye to choose my dresses more often.
Despite the warmth of the evening, I shivered, suddenly aware Matthias was a mere whisper away from me. My traitorous breath hitched as our gazes met. It was obvious from the way his eyes darkened I wasn’t the only one who approved of this different look. With his eyes locked on my reflection, he loosened the tie. A wicked smile curled across my ruby lips.
I spun around, my breath catching as I found him even closer than I’d thought. Somewhere, in the gloom beyond us, Franciscontinued with his warnings, his words lost as Matthias raised a playful brow. His grin faltered as his gaze flitted towards my lips. The candle flickered, burning brighter, illuminating the smooth planes of his cheekbones, flecks of amber glinting in his eyes.
As we’d grown, as the boy changed, there had been moments when he’d been so beautiful it crushed the breath from my lungs. I blinked, my own eyes tracing his lips and I swallowed down the ache. As close as we were becoming, was I ready for whatever was happening between us? We’d never kissed.
I reached up. Up towards his torturously perfect mouth, my fingers hesitating. His green eyes widened, his sweet breath warming my palm. I raised my chin and clutched the silk instead, tilting my head as I straightened his tie yet again. As I turned to get one final glimpse of my reflection, he caught my wrist, his fingers wrapping around my thundering pulse so damn slowly. With his gaze locked on mine, he brushed the whisper of a kiss across my knuckles, my skin flaring at the tender touch. Reluctantly, I tugged my hand away, turning back and pretending I couldn’t see the satisfied smirk playing on those damned lips.
We’d only spoken aboutimportantthings since the fire. He’d sat beside me, scowling at maps and asking questions. He’d called for tea and hot buttered crumpets. I’d batted him on the arm when he almost smothered an important fragment with butter. Pablo took advantage of us, gobbling the remaining crumpets. For a while, we were young once more, up to mischief. But I’d broken the fragile familiarity when he tried to take my hand and I’d stood, calling the wolf, feigning tiredness.
I’d come to the conclusion I’d been his friend all those years ago as he had no other option. Yet now. Now, when he stared at me like this – as though I were a marvel created solely for him – it caused too many swirling emotions, more frantic thoughts and questions than my mind could comprehend. I didn’t know whatwas going on in my own head, let alone his. As he stared back at me, his hair slicked back with one rebellious tendril threatening to spill down at any moment and a glint in those green eyes, I knew what I needed to do. Though the thought terrified me more than anything else I faced right now.
We needed to talk. We needed to be honest. Open. True.
The smile faded from my face as I moved from the mirror and held Pablo. I was as adept at baring my soul as I was at flying.
But, I was also a grown woman. An actual queen. I could talk to my own husband. Couldn’t I?
