Bethany smirked. “Tommy, I’m standing here in my bathrobe, and you haven’t even looked at my tits once.” Her eyes sparkled. “Like I said, I’m getting used to it. Only, please tell me you haven’t got the hots for my brother. ’Cause that there is a train wreck just waiting to happen.” Her lips twitched.
Oh, this just got better. “You know about Ben?” From what his roommate had said, the family was oblivious.
Bethany burst out into a peal of laughter. “Oh, honey, most of Fulton County knows about Ben, and probably half of DeKalb, for that matter. That boy left a trail of broken hearts—maleandfemale—all the way through high school.”
“Do your parents know?”
Bethany shrugged. “I’d say they might suspect, Mom more than Dad. He tends to live with his nose pressed between the pages of theWall Street Journalmost of the time.”
Tommy found her comment highly ironic. His panic had receded a little, leaving him able to regain his composure.
“So I guess that’s a no to my first question, huh?” Bethany said with a half smile. She gestured toward the kitchen table, and Tommy nodded. They pulled out chairs and sat down.
Tommy studied his coffee mug. “Ben knows, of course, and my friend Carla, but that was only ’cause they guessed. I’ve not really come out to anyone I have classes with. But I’ve done some stuff that I’ve never done before, and that’s made me feel better about myself, y’know? More confident?” Like going to Woofs of a Saturday night to drool over Mike. He’d never have done anything like that a year ago. But then a year ago, he was only just coming to terms with the realization that girls left him cold, whereas boys got him all hot ’n’ bothered.
Bethany nodded. “Like what, for instance?”
“Well, I went to some meetin’s, for one thing. Just alumni meetin’s at the LGBTQ center at the university, but that was easy ’cause I didn’t know those folks from Adam. People were really supportive, and I felt comfortable bein’ there. And then there’s the stuff I’ve been watchin’ online too.”
Bethany’s cheeks pinked right up. “You been watching porn, Tommy?” Her lips were twitching again.
He sat bolt upright. “OhLord, no!” He wouldn’t havedared. “I meant I watch videos from that site, It Gets Better.” Anything that helped him to mentally explore what it meant to be gay.
“Oh.” Bethany’s eyes shone. “’Cause if you wanted to watch porn, I’m sure my brother could probably oblige you. Heaven knows what he has on that laptop of his.”
“Now there’s a scary thought,” Tommy said with a shudder. When Bethany regarded him quizzically, he couldn’t helpsmiling. “The browsin’ history on Ben’s laptop. I don’t know ’bout you, but I ain’t brave enough to look.”
They stared at one another for a moment, and then they burst out laughing. Bethany got up from her chair and brought the coffeepot over to the table.
“You’re okay with me knowing, then?”
Tommy smiled at her as she poured them out a second mug. “Yeah, sure. I’m glad, in a way. Lately I’ve been thinking ’bout tellin’ my parents.” Telling someone of his intentions somehow made it all that more real.
Bethany paused in mid pour. “Really? How’d you think they’d take that?”
It was a question Tommy had asked himself many times during the last few months. During his first year at college, there’d been no question of telling them. He’d been too damn scared. But now? Things were different.Hewas different, especially since he’d laid eyes on Mike. Over two months had passed since that first night in Woofs, and it was getting harder to ignore how he felt when he saw the muscled bartender with the wide, furry pecs, thick, strong-looking arms, and eyes so blue Tommy wanted to drown in them. Just thinking about him sent a shiver dancing up and down his spine and a tingle through his balls.
With a supreme effort, he shoved aside those delightful images and focused on the subject matter. “I watched this one video of an Air Force guy who came out to his parents on YouTube,” he said. “I’d have been terrified to do somethin’ like that, but his folks were so supportive in the end, and it worked out all right. An’ watching all these people who hid how they felt, dreadin’ tellin’ their friends an’ family…. When it came down to it, it wasn’t half as bad as they’d anticipated.”
Bethany’s brow knitted. “Yeah, but honey? I hear what Ben tells me about your folks. God-fearing people, he says. Now, hemust’ve gotten that from you, right? In my experience, limited though that may be, God-fearing parents and gay kids just don’t mix all that well.” She laid a hand on his arm, the touch gentle. “You sure you want to do this? ’Cause once you open this particular can of worms, there’s no going back. You need to feel pretty sure that they’ll be okay with this.”
Tommy sighed. “I can’t live like this, Bethany. In one of those videos, I heard one woman tell her son that at first she’d thought he was just goin’ through a phase, and that he’d grow out of it. When it became clear this was no phase, she had to accept this is how he was, a gay man. Well, Iknowthis ain’t no phase. I amgay. This is how I was born. I don’t believe the Lord would have made me this way if this wasn’t how I was meant to be.” He grabbed hold of her hand and squeezed it. “An’ I don’t believe my momma and daddy would turn their backs on me. They love me.”
Doesn’t Momma tell me that, every time we speak on the phone?
“I don’t dispute that, really I don’t,” Bethany said quickly, her fingers tightening around his. “I’m just saying that when faced with something like this, your parents are gonna have to make a choice between their love for you and what they believe the Bible says about you. None of us really know how we would react in any specific situation until we find ourselves smack dab in the middle of that situation.”
Tommy knew what she was getting at. Hell, he’d worried about it many a night, tossing and turning in his bed. Even going back a couple of months, he’d had his concerns. But everything he’d seen so far, everything he’d read, was telling him that it was all going to be okay.
He had to see it like that. The alternative didn’t bear thinking about.
“I’ll see how things are at Christmas,” he told her, “an’ if it’s looking positive, then I’ll tell them.” The holidays were always a good time to be with his family, everyone happy and looking forward to the New Year.
He couldn’t think of a better time to tell them.
Chapter Six
The house was peaceful again,not that Tommy had minded the last couple of days. As far back as he could remember, Christmas had always been a time of noise and laughter, carols and the crackling of log fires, and this year had been no different. The day itself had been wonderful. Mary and her husband, Dan, had spent it with them, and it had turned out to be a joyous occasion when they’d revealed their news. Tommy was still grinning about the prospect of becoming an uncle. As for Momma, she was already phoning all her girlfriends, spreading the news that she was gonna be a grandma. Daddy’d just chuckled quietly to himself when he’d seen her on the phone, and then he’d gone up into the attic to search out the wooden crib he’d made for Mary’s birth. He wasn’t as vocal as Momma, but it was plain to see he was delighted too.
