I scowled at him. “Alright. Alright. I got it. That shit wasn’tthat funny.”
“Your permission?” Hiro continued to laugh. “Oh God. I wish I had been there. What did his face look like?”
“Back to Kaede, please.”
“No. No. I want to understand your thinking. The Dragon discovers a traitor. The man is on his knees in front of him, and instead of hurting him, my brother stops what he is doing, calls you up and says, ‘Mommy, can I kill him?’”
“You know what?” I pointed at him. “Now you’re not getting any food during this cocktail party.”
“I don’t need any food now. I’m getting too much satisfaction from your utter audacity.”
I flipped him the middle finger. "In my defense, I was so traumatized. The smoke. The smell. I thought. . .everyone felt that way. I thought those flames were a horror for everyone who watched."
"They weren't."
"No." My chest tightened. "They weren't.”
"Those men betrayed the family. They tried to kill Kenji. Tried to destroy everything—every person, every bond, every life we'vebuilt together. And they failed." Hiro's jaw set. "And now they're ash. And the men who stayed loyal? The men who fought? The men who bled for this family?"
He spread his hands. "They're alive. They're here. They got to watch those pieces of shit burn. Fuck those traitors.”
Holy shit.
I sat with that. Let the truth of his words crawl under my skin and burrow somewhere I couldn't reach.
When I finally spoke, my voice came out different.
Quieter.
Stripped of defense.
"You know what the fucked up part is?"
Hiro raised an eyebrow.
"I wasn't trying to control Kenji. I wasn't trying to be some civilian who thinks she can change the yakuza." I looked down at my hands. "I just. . .I saw him last night. . .”
Sadness covered Hiro’s face. “He took Sako and Mami hard.”
“He did.”
“And what he had to do. . .”
“Yes, and so. . .I see the pyre and I thought if I could just. . .be involved somehow. . .maybe I could carry some of what he goes through with him. So he wouldn't have to hold it alone." I shrugged. “Obviously, I also wanted to control not seeing that horror too but. . .I wasn’t thinking that. . .I had the right to approve his kills. So you know. . .I know that sounds stupid."
"That's actually not as stupid as it sounded."
"Okay."
"Still naive."
"Obviously."
"But you're learning. And you're not running." He tilted his head. "That's more than most, and the heart of it. . .is exactly why you belong here."
My eyes watered. “I want to belong. . .”
"You already do." He held my gaze. "And for what it's worth. . .Kenji's lucky. Not every woman would try to carry that burden with him. In fact, most would ask him to put it down."
