Reo didn't respond right away.
He turned toward the window, and let one hand press flat against his ribs, right over the clean shirt. The pressure was subtle, but I caught the way his fingers spread wide and tested the damage beneath the fabric.
For a few seconds, Reo stared out at the morning light.
The silence wasn't empty.
Then, Reo turned back to face me and dropped his hand from his ribs. And I knew that the movement cost him. I saw it in the tightness around his eyes, the fraction of a second where his breath caught before he smoothed it away. “She doesn’t want your begging for her permission, Kenji. What she really wants is certainty of not being terrified like that again. She wants some sense of control after all the shock. That's human."
I considered what he was saying.
"She's trying to anchor herself to something that won't move."
I didn't interrupt.
"Your Tiger woke up to a pyre of enemies that is quite normal in our life. Yet. . .for her. . .it is not normal at all. You two have only known each other for a few weeks. She’s had a jagged learning curve as you’ve taken her into war right after the second date. And now the pyre. . .that kind of horror doesn't ask for logic. It demands theillusionof control."
“The illusion?”
“Yes.”
“But do I give her this permission?”
“What doyouwant to do?”
“I don’t think she can handle it. She doesn’t understand the nuances. Perhaps, many years from now I would agree to discussing some things but. . .her permission? That is not my way.”
“And you are correct. If you give her that kind of authority right now. You don't make Nyomi stronger. You ruin her."
My fingers tightened unconsciously around my own arms.
Reo shifted his weight, and for a moment his jaw flexed—pain leaking through despite his discipline. He pushed past it. "She will become what she's trying to stop you from being, and worse. . .you won't be able to protect her anymore. The moment a woman gives an order of death to any of your men, the world stops seeing her as your Heart and starts seeing her as a target you can't shield."
Those words landed heavy.
I unfolded my arms. “Yet, you see her as my queen.”
“I do.” He nodded. “A queen influences the king. She doesn’t swing the blade. And. . .permission is not partnership."
Hmmm.
Reo continued. "Asking her before you act doesn't make you equals. It makes you smaller. And it puts a larger crown on her head that any enemy can knock off."
I exhaled slowly.
He was right.
I hated that he was right.
"There's something else," Reo said.
I looked up.
"Nyomi's value—the thing that makes heryours—is that she's still clean." He held my gaze without flinching. "If she carries the weight of death, she loses the thing that steadies you. You'll have nothing left to come home to that doesn't smell like blood."
The dragon stirred in my chest.
Not in anger.
