I pulled my phone out and checked it again.
No new messages.
Kenji was still on his way back.
Chef Bunzo began to wash his hands. “What are you thinking we should put together?”
“Well. . .” I sighed. “I’m not sure. I don’t want to hit them with my comfort foods. I’m more hoping to lean toward your expertise.”
"I’m actually not sure either. I just know that we definitely should make something everybody can sit down and eat when they get back. That seems to be what your main goal is. What do you think?"
“That’s exactly what I want.” I tapped the counter again. “So. . .I have a question. When someone dies, what do you typically eat? Like traditionally in Japan."
Kaoru and Yoichi considered that.
Chef Bunzo dried off his hands. "In my house, my mother would prepare simple food, when a family member died.Shojin Ryori.”
I studied him. “What’s that?”
“It originated from Zen Buddhist monks and emphasizes mindfulness, seasonality, and zero waste. Therefore, it follows the ‘rule of five.’"
“Okay.”
“We would do five colors. Typically, white, black, yellow, green, red. Then, there would be a focus on five methods, raw, simmered, grilled, steamed, and fried. And you wouldn’t have any meat or fish."
“I’m intrigued by that.” I rubbed my chin.
"There’s Ohagi," Yoichi added quietly. "Sweet rice balls covered in red bean paste. My grandfather always made them for memorial services. It was about honoring the deceased."
Kaoru quirked his brows. “What do you all do in the States?”
“Oh. In my culture, it's different. We call it a homegoing meal. Or a repast. It's about abundance and feeding people through grief.” I thought about a typical menu. “So we’re talking heavy stuff. Soul food. Fried chicken, mac and cheese, collard greens, cornbread. All the comfort food you can think of."
Kaoru widened his eyes. "I like the sound of that."
I thought about Hiroko and what she might have wanted. "Let's do Shojin Ryori tonight. I like that it is simple andtraditional. The Claw’s cocktail party and the whole dinner after will probably be tomorrow. That’s going to be big and full of food. But tonight. . .tonight should be about honoring the ones that we lost."
Chef Bunzo bowed. "We will prepare it."
He turned and started giving instructions to his assistants in Japanese. They moved quickly, pulling out vegetables, tofu, rice, and miso paste.
I watched them work and felt Hiroko's voice echo in my head.
"And this—this moment tonight is not just sex. This is strategy. A man on his knees doesn't just want to fuck you. He wants forgiveness. He wants to crawl inside the heat and the hurt and ask to be let in."
My chest tightened as I thought about that memory.
She'd taught me how to stand in my power.
How are you gone?
I pressed my hand to my mouth and took a breath.
Kaoru stepped closer. "Are you okay?"
I nodded. "Yeah. I just. . .keep thinking about Hiroko."
"That's normal," Yoichi said. "Grief doesn't go away quickly."
